Fallen Star
by X-Keva-X
Summary: "I don't know why they just won't let her go," he scowled. "she's not a mage and has no reason to be here. The Chantry keeps her locked here out of their own fear and narrow mindedness. Mages are about magic and the fade. She can't enter the fade or perform magic so she can't be a mage and she should not be here."
1. Chapter 1

This is a challenge fic thrown down by my sister. The challenge is posted on my profile if you want to check it out and/or take on the challenge yourself. It's kind of long and no one likes scrolling through that much stuff to get to a fic so I decided to move it and let you decide if you want to read it. Much love. Keva

xx

Cullen stood in front of the Knight Commander's desk waiting for him to give him his orders. Truly he didn't expect to be dispatched so soon after taking his vows but here he was in the circle of Magi the last place he expected to be. Actually he was led to believe he was going to take up being a guard in front of the Chantry for a time before being sent anywhere. Yet here he was in front of the infamous Knight Commander Greagoir waiting for his orders.

"You came highly recommended."

He drew his brows deeply not at all sure what that was suppose to mean. How could he be highly recommended for anything? He hadn't faced down a blood mage, or fought an abomination, or fought anything for that matter. Sure he had done some mock battle scenarios with his fellow Templar trainees but that didn't equate to being recommended and especially not _highly_ recommended.

"Sir?" He questioned as he stared at the elder man who since he walked into the office had yet to look at him.

Greagoir finally looked up at the boy standing before his desk and nodded curtly. "Ah yes I suppose the situation hasn't been explained to you. I can only guess that as soon as my message was received you were dispatched. Seeing as how you and the response arrived together."

"I don't understand." He tilted his head slightly still as unclear as ever as to what was going on that needed the expertise of a skill he didn't know he had. For that matter what did the Knight Commander want that the Chantry seemed to think he was capable of doing? The questions were many and growing by the second and answers weren't coming to him as quickly as he would like.

Greagoir stood up, grabbed a bound stack of papers off his desk, and flipped though them to go over its contents. Though he had read over the contents a hundred times over and damn near had it all memorized he liked to look in hopes that one day the information would change. It was a small disappointment every time because it was always the same. He sighed deeply and looked at the newest recruit to his tower. "You're role here isn't going to be one you would expect in a tower full of mages. A small portion of your duties will consist of just watching the going ons around you." He stopped flipping through the papers and held it out across his desk for him to take. "However the larger part of your duties will be taking Zaniah on as your charge."

Cullen looked at the bound stack of papers in his hand and still with brows drawn by all of this looked up at the Knight Commander. "I'm sorry sir if I seem insubordinate but what is this about?"

Greagoir waved a dismissive hand through the air like it didn't matter one way or the other. "Everything you need to know is in those documents." He nodded at him. "The short of it however is Zaniah is different. She's been here since she was about four or five and we're still not sure if she's a mage or not." He sighed deeply like this puzzle had vexed him to the point of exhaustion and to a point it had.

"Sir?" Hazel eyes widened as he stared at his commander.

He snorted at that being that was the same reaction so many others had had before him. "Like I said Zaniah is different so different in fact that she's been through three Harrowings and two attempts to be made tranquil and still she remains the same. She's immune to both and we want to know why or how or what she is that she's not affected by either." He sighed and jabbed his fingers through his hair quite tired of this enigma and the constant demand by the Chantry to know about the girl. "The one thing we do know for a fact is that she can transfer her memories into someone else. She can touch you and you will relive events that have happened to her though her eyes. You will feel what she felt, hear what she heard, taste, smell, all of it."

Cullen just stood there not sure he understood anything he was saying. This girl was a mage but not a mage? Was something like that even possible? Well clearly it was if what he was saying about this girl was true. Yet still what did any of this have to do with him? "I still don't understand." He shook his head and for some reason was feeling rather stupid for not being able to follow what he was saying. "She's a mage but not?"

"Something like that." Greagoir nodded at him.

He looked down at the papers and drew his brows deeply. "So why not just ask her?"

At that Greagoir snorted. "We have many times." He sighed and plopped down in his chair. "She hardly ever speaks and when she does it's no more than a word or two barely louder than a whisper. When she first arrived here like so many other children she was full of chatter and would never shut up." He shook his head and smiled at the memory of the chittery little girl that was so full of life and light when she arrived she even made him smile on more than one occasion. "She was a little pest that deemed it necessary to latch herself onto me. She would follow me around just chattering away about childish nonsense driving me to the brink of madness trying to seek a moments solitude from her. Eventually she weaved her fingers around my heart and I considered her my own. The daughter I never had and I cared still care for her as such. She is in a sense my child." He smiled then just as quickly frowned. "Then it all changed not but a year later."

Cullen watched the elder man stare at his desk as the memories flashed through heavy tired eyes. Clearly the Knight Commander had been working long hard hours as of late especially based on the stacks of papers on his desk. "What happened?" He questioned really interested in what had happened that caused this girl Zaniah to stop talking.

Greagoir snorted. "She showed us her power." He shook his head and sighed as he looked up at the boy. "It overwhelmed Irving so much he was put in infirmary for a week to deal with the mental anguish it caused him upsetting the girl fearing that she hurt him. Myself on the other hand probably did more to harm her by my reaction."

"What did you do?" He questioned just above a whisper feeling the man's regret rolling off of him in waves.

"I forbade her to ever come around me and even went so far as to have her on a strict restriction of movement throughout the circle." He shook his head feeling the full weight of what he did settle even heavier on his shoulders. "That's when she fell silent and inverted into herself. Her restriction only lasted for two days but the damage was already done." He frowned. "It was the worst feeling I had ever felt in my life."

Cullen didn't know what to say to that. An apology seemed empty and he knew it wasn't wanted by the elder man. Clearly the commander felt the responsibility of what he had done and made no attempt to hide the scars resulting from his actions. The best he could do for the man was to change the subject somewhat. "So what is it you need from me?" He was still unclear as to how any of this would need these supposed skills he came highly recommended for.

"Like I said," Greagoir looked up at him. "she's now your charge. I asked the Chantry to send me someone who hadn't seen the harsh realities of what mages are capable of. Someone who had a kind open heart that wouldn't judge but accept everyone for who and what they are. Someone whose patience outshined even the most devout of men." He nodded at him. "And you came as the most eligible and highest recommended candidate for the job. I've tried many before you to try to get through to her and within weeks sometimes even days they request a new assignment giving up that quickly. Even I can't get through to her but she will at least talk a little bit to me." He snorted. "Or should I say argue with me over details that don't need to be argued over. If I had all the time in the world I might be able to get through to her but I don't have the time. Running a tower of mages and Templars stretched my time very thin."

He got up and walked around his desk to stand in front of him. "What I'm asking of you isn't going to be an easy task or even one that will be accomplished within a month. I'm asking you to break into her shelter and bring her back. Find out anything and everything you can about her, her powers, her fears, her wants, everything. Do whatever necessary within reason," he eyed him seriously. "and I mean within reason. The last to take her as his charge decided to try and beat everything he wanted to know out of her and I will not have a repeat performance. Unless you wish to be stripped of your position and returned to the Chantry as a disgrace to be dealt with properly."

"I would never." He defended aghast that someone would actually do that to a helpless innocent.

"I certainly hope so." He crossed his arms over his chest. "I will take it VERY personally if any harm should come to her." He nodded curtly. "Now take those papers and read over them so you can get a good understanding of who you will be dealing with." He nodded at the papers in his hand. "Her entire history is in there perhaps you'll find something that will give you open grounds to get through to her."

"I will." He gave a small bow of his head. "And when do I officially take charge of the young lady?"

Greagoir shrugged dismissively. "Now if you so desire but no later than tomorrow morning. If you wish to meet her and see what you'll be dealing with you can find her in the common room, far back left corner, behind the statue, wearing a black hooded cloak. If not there check the small window in the library." He snorted. "Much to one of our elder mage's and several of the guard's dismay she sits on the highest window seal in the library staring out the window. How she gets up there has yet to be discovered since no one has ever seen her get up there or down. We assume it's one of her powers that we don't know about. Or if not in either of those places she's usually in that corner right there," he nodded to the empty corner by his door. "drawing. She draws a lot and that's the only thing we can get a clear grasp on when dealing with her."

Cullen stared at the empty corner full of even more questions. "Her drawings give no insight to her powers?"

"Look around." He waved his hand at all the framed pictures adorning his office. "Can you tell me what she thinks or feels based on these drawings? What does a forest scene say or a portrait of me or one of the mages?" He shook his head. "Nearly every drawing and painting decorating this tower were made by her hand. If you can see a message in them please tell me what it is."

Looking at the many pictures on the wall and knowing the Knight Commander let the girl sit in his office he easily figured what the man was trying to do. Allowing her these things was his way of apologizing for what he had done to her so many years ago. Which made him wonder what was the vision of that traumatized both men so much they all but turned their backs on her.

He looked back over at him. "Sir if you don't mind me asking but what was in the memory she... " He trailed off and drew his brows deeply. "Shared with you?"

Greagoir sighed deeply at that and shook his head. "Zaniah though considered part of the Amell family isn't their child. She was found in the woods near their home in Lothering alone and scared. It was those feelings she shared the overwhelming fear of a child in the woods in the middle of the night cold, hungry, and alone." He sighed again. "It was the overwhelming sense of fear and despair that brought Irving to his knees and kept her away from me. I never felt anything like that in my life."

Cullen cringed at that. "Who would leave a child in the middle of the woods by herself?" He questioned shocked and disgusted.

"That's where things get weird." He leaned back against his desk. "According to Ser Bryant out of Lothering the family brought him the child after about a year of caring for her. They said they saw a flash of light just outside in the forest and a loud crashing noise. They waited until morning unsure of what happened or what it was that caused such a commotion before venturing out to see what it was." He shook his head. "That's when they found a little girl they guessed to be about three or four sitting in the middle of a burned out area of the forest. They searched for her parents but could find no one around so they took her home hoping to eventually find whoever she belonged to."

"So they put the word out they found a lost child and no one claimed her." Cullen nodded at him. "Nor were there any burned bodies found within the woods."

"Exactly, so they kept her until about a year later when her powers first appeared." He shrugged. "They guessed her to be a mage and to avoid any problems with having a mage child they turned her over to Ser Bryant who in turn brought her here. She does have a cousin so to speak here but even he can't get through to her." He nodded curtly at him. "You can speak with him if you wish but I doubt he'll be able to give you any new information. His name is Dylan and you can find him wherever the majority of the female mages congregate trying to show off for them. A major thorn in my side." He grumbled. "Now if there isn't anything else I have a lot to do and no time to get it done."

"Sir." Cullen gave a small bow with a fist to his heart. "I will let you know of anything I discover."

"Good lad." He nodded back then went back to the other side of his desk, plopped down in his chair, and took on the impossible task of getting his paperwork done.

Cullen turned and left the office deciding that the first order of business was to get a look at this charge of his. Part of him was expecting her to look like some sort of monster, taller than any man, and broader than a horse. Yet his more rational side told him she most likely looked like any other girl within the circle tower. Just a mage (maybe) like any other female mage.

His first stop was the common room since it was down the hall from Greagoir's office. The room was filled with the resident mages just chatting away about whatever they talked about with his Templar brethren watching from their posts around the room. He worked his way to the back corner of the room containing the only statue and looked behind it. There was nothing but some papers and a few drawing utensils.

Clearly she was either there recently or she just kept her stuff there for when she would decided to hide there. This led him to figure that she could only be in the library unless she went to eat or to relieve herself.

He headed out of the common room heading for the library to check there before heading to his quarters to read over her information. His first real given task since becoming a Templar straight from the Knight Commander himself. He was going to do his best and prove his worth even if the task seemed menial and rather odd for a Templar to take on. Truly this seemed more like a job for a fellow mage or even a sister from the Chantry.

Then again he didn't know what they have or haven't tried as of yet and he was sure he would soon find out once he read her file. However he first wanted to see who this creature or human or elf or whatever she was was all about.

As he walked through the doorway into the library he came chin to face with an elderly mage. "Oh sorry." He apologized as he grabbed the old man by the arm to keep him from falling down when he stumbled backwards.

The old mage all but ignored him and with a barely a glance at the Templar went back to his fretting about in front of the book case.

Cullen watched the man for a moment debating on whether he was mad or not when another mage entered right behind him.

"Alright old man what crawled up your backside this time?"

The old mage spun around and glared at the man standing next to the Templar. "How many times have I told you not to disrespect your elders!"

Cullen watched as the young mage next to him rolled his eyes and sighed deeply.

"Yea yea so what do you want?"

The elderly mage glowered at him for a moment then pointed to the highest window in the library. "You will tell her to come down from there. What she's doing is against the rules and dangerous."

The younger man and Cullen both looked up to see someone sitting on the edge of the window seal. Cullen instantly knew exactly who was up there being she was who he was looking for.

"Everyday," the young man looked back down at the elder. "we go through this and everyday ends the same as the day before. Why do you even bother? You know she's not gong to come down no matter what I say or anyone else says. So why don't you go get yourself a cup of tea, find a corner, and mutter to yourself about us disrespectful kids and how much better life was in your day."

Cullen bit the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing at that. "Um excuse me," he interrupted when the old man who was now red in the face opened his mouth to respond to that. "but is that Zaniah up there?" He questioned knowing full well that it was and was only asking to diffuse the situation between the two men.

"Another Templar." The younger mage glowered at him. "Let me guess you're the newest recruit that that bastard Greagoir brought in to break down Zaniah's wall." He eyed him condescendingly. "So what are you going to try and beat it out of her too?"

It suddenly struck Cullen who this mage was. "You must be Dylan." He nodded at him.

"Ah so you know the story." He crossed his arms over his chest. "She may not be my cousin by blood but I still consider her family. My aunt and her husband cared enough to take her as his own so I could do no less and just know I will take it personally if you do to her what the last bastard did." He narrowed his eyes to thin little slits. "I swear if they would have let me I would have turned him inside out for doing what he did. Though from what I heard Greagoir knocked the bastard's teeth out. That's the only good thing he's ever done."

"I can assure you I have no intentions of hurting anyone least of all her." Cullen defended with a scowl and logging away the information about his commander for further analysis later.

"Yea we'll see if you hold true to those words." Dylan glared at him then looked up at the girl sitting in the window. "I don't know why they just won't let her go," he scowled even harder. "she's not a mage and has no reason to be here. The Chantry keeps her locked here out of their own fear and narrow mindedness."

"You don't think she's a mage?" Cullen arched a brow though he too was staring up at the being in the window.

"Mages are about magic and the fade." He nodded. "She can't enter the fade or perform any spells therefore she can't be a mage and she should not be here."

"But she can't be turned tranquil either." He countered.

"Even better; who wants to be a tranquil anyway?" He growled. "All tranquil are are mindless servants of the Chantry. Floating through the rest of their lives as a nothing just simply obeying because they don't know anything else. I'd rather be dead."

Cullen wasn't going to argue that because he knew that a lot of mages felt the same way about being turned tranquil. Hell he to a point felt the same but also understood the reason for the necessity of the procedure. "So if she's not a mage what do you think she is?" He changed the subject.

"Does it matter?" He questioned back. "if she's not threat to anyone who cares what she is or isn't. She does not belong here and what has happened to her since arriving here would have never happened in the first place. They knew a long time ago she wasn't a mage but yet here she still is trapped in this prison."

"What do you mean?" He looked over at him. "What happened?" He questioned wondering if there was something more to this story than what the Knight Commander told.

Dylan snorted and glared at him. "You have her information so figure it out yourself." He growled then spun on his heel and left.

Cullen watched him go and once out of sight turned back to the old mage who was now glaring at him. "Yes?" He questioned with an arched brow.

The man glared even harder and crossed his arms over his chest in a huff. "Are you just going to stand there or are you going to get her down from there?"

"And what would you propose I do?"

"Order her down." He ground out.

"Alright." He nodded and looked up at the girl. "Zaniah would you be so kind as to come down from there before our elderly mage here dies from a heart attack."

"I am not amused!" The old man huffed then stormed out of the room.

Cullen watched him go and snorted then looked up at the girl only to find she was gone and now standing in front of him. As he stared down at the cloaked figure before him he quickly decided on how to handle her. "Thank you my lady." He placed a fist to his heart and bowed to her. She was a tiny little thing he noticed noting the top of her head was barely level with the top of his chest.

"My name is Cullen and you must be Zaniah." He paused like she was responding to him. "It's a pleasure to meet you as well." That's how he was going to handle this act like everything was normal. Even if it meant having lengthy conversations with someone who didn't talk back and looking like a fool. Sometimes sacrifices needed to be made for the greater good or to get what you wanted to achieve a goal.

He stared at her for a silent moment wondering what she looked liked but quickly dismissed it and moved on. "I was just heading to the dining room to see if I could get lunch in a little early. Would you care to join me? I mean you don't have to if you don't want to." He smiled lightly kind of glad he couldn't see her face. He had a serious stuttering problem when it came to the opposite sex and he certainly didn't want to have her label him as the weird Templar that stuttered.

When she made no move to show she had decided anything he nodded at her. "Well if you wish my company you'll know where to find me." He bowed to her again then turned and exited the library. He didn't know if she was following him or not and he wasn't going to look and see. He was going to take this slow and treat her like he would treat any other shy person.

He wasn't all that surprised to find she didn't follow him when he arrived in the dining hall. He didn't really care since he wanted to go over her file without her near so he could absorb it without trying to hide what he was reading.

xx

The lunch crowd came and went barely drawing any attention from him. Zaniah's file wasn't anything interesting mostly all complaints about what she would or wouldn't do. Most of the complaints came from the same mage which he assumed was the old man complaining about her in the library.

When he finally pulled himself out of her file the dining room was practically empty save for the few cleaning up, him, and a silent guest sitting across from him. His eyes widened slightly at seeing her cloaked figure just sitting there. He quickly pulled himself together and smiled at her though he wasn't even sure if she could see him or not. The hood of her cloak hung down past her eyes or maybe it was she was just looking down. Either way he assumed she was looking at him and made the conversation as if she was in fact looking at him.

"How was your lunch?" He questioned and paused for a moment acting like she was answering him. "Yes it was a little noisy but with this many people living here it's to be expected." He nodded. "Anyway I can only guess that you were told who I am and why I'm here." He tapped the papers in front of him with his finger and sighed. "I know you don't trust me and that's okay. After all you've been through I wouldn't trust anyone either. So I think the best way for us to deal with what we'll be to each other is to lay out some rules." He arched a brow and waited for the answer she wouldn't give but the one he figured she would give if she talked.

"No nothing like that." He shook his head and cringed. "I'm not a monster like your previous guards." He nodded determinedly at her and fell silent as he had her half of the conversation in his head.

_"The others said that same thing."_

He nodded. "Yes but I'm not the others and the only way I can prove to you I'm not is with time."

_"We'll see. So what are these rules of yours?"_

"Ah yes let's see." He rubbed his knuckles to this chin thoughtfully. "Rule number one neither of us can invade the other's personal space. Rule number two instead of being latched together all day everyday we spend short amounts of time together throughout the day."

_"That's not what my other guards did and they said Greagoir said they had to stay by my side constantly."_

"And that's probably why things didn't work out so well." He pointed out and noted that the cleaning staff were all giving him weird looks like he was crazy. He ignored them knowing he was going to get those kinds of looks a lot with this crazy plan of his. "Everyone needs their own space and if you don't get it you hate the person not giving it to you."

_"That's fair I suppose."_

"Good." He smiled at her. "Now the last rule is we should at least spend every meal time together. This way we don't have to necessarily talk but we're not stuck in some awkward silent situation with nothing to do." He arched a brow at her. "Do you think those rules are fair?"

He gave a longer silent pause like she was debating her answer before acting like she nodded at him. "Perfect," he grinned. "glad we got that out of the way. Now if you'll excuse me I have to go get settled." He stood, gathered up his papers, and gave a small bow with fist to heart. "My lady." He smiled and took a few steps away from her then stopped and turned back to her. "If I don't see you before dinner I'll meet you here at that time." He gave a small nod of his head before turning and exiting the room leaving her sitting there.

xx

Cullen found himself back in the Knight Commander's office after leaving the dining hall. He mostly returned to give Greagoir back Zaniah's file but also to inform him of his crazy but plausible plan.

"I see." Greagoir nodded at the boy. "How soon do you think you'll see any results of this?"

"I can't say sir." He gave a curt shake of his head. "She joined me after lunch but I assumed she only did because you or Dylan told her who I was. Or she overheard my conversation with her cousin earlier today when I found her sitting in the window."

"So I heard." Greagoir snorted and held up the newest piece of paper to take up residence on his desk. "Another complaint from old man Sweeney. I do believe half the papers on my desk are his complaints ranging from a speck of unauthorized dust in a corner to the number of floors within this tower to the lack of hair on his head." He dropped the paper back to his desk and shook his head. "You're plan sounds fine and we'll see how it goes. If nothing comes from it no harm done and you can try something else. Dismissed." He waved a hand towards the door.

"Thank you sir." He gave a small bow of his head and left his office.

As he exited the office he once again came chest to face with a little cloaked figure carrying her paper and pencils. "Zaniah." He bowed his head slightly at her, stepped around her, and headed down the hall. He had to get to his quarters at some point today and finally get unpacked.

As he walked down the hall he could have sworn he heard the light shuffling of footsteps behind him. When he made it to the stairs leading up to the next floor he stopped, turned, and drew his brows at the cloaked figure standing there.

"What can I do for you?" He questioned as he stared at her knowing full well she wasn't going to answer but kind of wished she would. If she would answer he would at least know what it was she wanted.

When she made no movement to indicate she did or didn't want anything from him he sighed lightly. "Well if there's nothing else." He nodded at her and waited a moment for a response of any kind before turning and heading up the steps.

As he hiked the stairs he heard her fall into step behind him and began wracking his brain trying to figure out what she was doing. He continued on with the little shadow behind him deciding that if she wanted anything from him she was just going to have to ask or do something to let him know what it was.

All the way up to the fourth floor containing the Templar quarters she followed until he came to the door leading to his shared room. He turned to look down at her and nodded. "You'll have to stay out here. These are the private Templar quarters."

He watched with brows drawn as she sat down against the wall next to his door, took our her papers, and began to draw. He didn't know what this was all about but he was going to take it as a good sign. "I'll be out shortly." He nodded though she didn't look up at him she just kept on drawing.

It didn't take him very long to put his stuff away and get organized putting him back outside his room in less than a half hour. When he did exit he came face to face with a fellow Templar hovering ominously over the girl sitting on the floor. Instantly he did not like the man and he certainly did not like how he was eyeing Zaniah.

"Can I help you?" He questioned with a slight edge to his voice.

The Templar looked at him and smiled. "No, I'm just having a conversation here with our resident shadow." He smiled almost condescendingly. "The name's Malick and you must be the newest addition to our order."

Oh yes he definitely did not like this guy. "Cullen." He introduced and kept the edge in his voice.

"Well Cullen I hope you find yourself at home here." Malick stepped back from them with a grin.

Cullen waved his fingers at the girl on the floor in a gesture that said she needed to get up and nodded curtly when she obeyed. "Just fine." He narrowed his eyes just a fraction at his fellow Templar. "Now if you'll excuse us." He bowed his head curtly and began walking down the hall with Zaniah in tow.

"Stay away from him." He ordered once he was sure they were out of ear shot. "If he comes anywhere near you you leave." He stopped and turned to face her. "Understood?"

She didn't answer nor did he really expect her to but he was sure she got the message loud and clear. He sighed deeply and looked down at her. "Alright so what do you plan on doing for the rest of the afternoon?" He saw her clench a little tighter to her drawing stuffs and nodded. "Where would you like to go? You lead I'll follow."

They stood there in silence for several long moments before she finally began walking down the hall. He followed her to the common room, back to the corner, to the statue where she settled herself down in her corner. Once settled she sorted out her things and began drawing.

"A good hiding place," he pointed out and leaned against the wall crossing his arms over his chest. "but no escape route." He noticed from the corner of his eye she stopped what she was doing frozen with pencil to paper. "Well I wouldn't worry about it too much since I doubt anyone is going to bother you with me right here." He then looked down at her with brows drawn. "You did want me here with you; didn't you?"

She didn't answer but the fact that she went back to drawing made him figure that she did in fact either want him there or didn't mind him being there.

He roved his eyes around the room watching the few mages that were in the room talking between each other. None of them looked like they were doing anything suspicious and the two other guards in the room didn't look too concerned either. So he just settled into his post trying to think of something to say to his silent companion and something that didn't require a lot of responses from her.

Eventually he decided on not trying to think of something good but just opening his mouth and hoping for the best. Although that tactic usually failed him terribly and tended to backfire in his face. "You know I was an orphan too."

As soon as the words were out there he wanted to kick himself square in the rear. What in Maker's name would cause him to say something like that? People without parents never liked to talk about it and here he was just throwing it out there like he was asking her how her afternoon was going.

He sighed deeply after mentally berating himself for his bad choice of topic and looked down at her. "Sorry," he nodded noting she was looking up at him and he was glad her hood covered her face even when looking up. "that's probably not something you want to talk about."

He was shocked when she gave a small nod up at him. Then again why be shocked she had to communicate somehow it couldn't all be silence and shadows. "Well if you really want to know." He nodded then looked away from her and eyed the room noting a few more mages had entered. "Well like you I can't say who my parents were nor can I say how I ended up in the orphanage in Denerim. As far as I knew until I was old enough to understand anyway I was born there." He shrugged with a glance down at her and found she was still looking up at him. "Nothing spectacular happened during my life there just acted like any other kid who lived there. I did all the usual little boy stuff, scraping my knees, getting dirty, picking on the girls," he laughed lightly. "getting into trouble every other day."

He paused trying to think of what question she would ask or opinion she would input to that and shook his head. He couldn't think of anything anyone would ask with that little information so he just continued.

"I was about six when I first understood what a Templar really was." He nodded and looked around the room at the few other Templars on guard. Part of him wondered what caused them to join the order, if it was some life changing event. Or maybe they just strongly believed in what the order stood for. "I don't know why but I decided then that when I grew up I was going to join the order."

He shrugged. "So I grew up, went through the training, took my vows, and here I am." He smiled down at her. "Personal guard to a lovely lady who may or may not be a mage." He suddenly blushed at his odd choice of words and looked away. "S… sorry." He muttered through a shy smile.

He didn't know if she was lovely or not but the image he conjured up in his head of what she might look like was lovely. He didn't want to draw up an image of her in his head but he just couldn't help it. The first thing he imagined was her eye color bright blue or dark brown to midnight they changed from one to the other constantly. Maybe she had one of each a rarity he'd only seen in dogs but rumors said there were people to have such a trait. Once that came the rest filled in around her big wide innocent eyes.

Long thick midnight hair that was as soft to the touch as it looked. The hair was something one of the sisters in the Chantry had. He would admire it from afar always wanting to touch it to see if it felt as silky as it looked.

Then there was her skin which he could see covering her hands and occasionally her wrists. He couldn't help but think it was the color of the finest of cream and looked as soft as silk. He had never seen anyone with such pale skin and it contrasted perfectly with the image of midnight hair.

He looked back down at her and found she was again looking up at him. "I'm… I'm sorry if I offended." He gave a bow of his head and blushed again. "I can only assume at your loveliness." Now that sounded more like an insult to his ears causing him to blush at his own stupidness. "I… I… mean that… uh is to say…" He trailed off now realizing he was sounding like a fool. What in Maker's name was wrong with him? "Forget I said anything." He looked away and fell silent trying to pull his head back together.

He looked about the room as the stupid finally cleared from his head and found himself suddenly locked into a staring contest with Malick. His hazels narrowed slightly at the condescending smirk on the man's face. He had never wanted to punch someone as much as he wanted to him. Actually something about the man made him want to beat him to a bloody pulp, set him on fire, and let the hounds piss on his remains.

He was startled slightly by the dark thoughts that danced through his head and he decided he needed to leave the room lest he acted out his desires. "I'm going for a walk," he nodded though kept his stare locked with the man on the other side of the room. "and I want you to go somewhere out of reach. Either go sit in the window or in Greagoir's office or follow me around." He broke the stare and looked down at her. "Whatever you do I do not want you in this corner trapped and at that bastard's mercy." He jerked his head in Malick's direction.

Somehow he got the distinct feeling that Malick didn't exactly play nice with the mages in the circle nor did he think he especially played nice with Zaniah. He was going to have to do some investigating and watching of his fellow Templar and see if his gut was right.

He watched as she straightened her things and set them nicely on the floor before standing up. He gave her a curt nod then headed out of the room with her right behind him.

xx

It was near dinner time when he decided he had walked and prayed away his evil thoughts on his fellow Templar. It also wasn't until he came back around to himself that he realized that Zaniah had been following him the whole time. He was sure she had to be exhausted for he certainly was and especially walking that long in his armor.

He came to a stop and turned to face her. "You didn't have to follow me the whole time you know." He pointed out. "You should have gone to Greagoir's office and waited for me to come get you or met me at dinner."

"You're right about him."

His eyes widened hugely at the soft spoken voice that came from within the hood. "Pardon?" He questioned shocked that she had spoken to him and had said so many words. He was sure he was imagining her speaking hoping for a miracle in his quest to bring her out of her world and back to the normal world.

"Malick."

Her voice was barely louder than a whisper causing him to lean down and turn an ear closer to her. "What about him?" He questioned. "Tell me. Did he do something to you or to someone?"

"Everyone." She answered quietly like Malick was within hearing distance.

He watched her fingers twitch nervously at her sides and suspected she feared her confession was going to be heard. "I will do everything in my power to protect you." He rose up to his full height. "I swear it." He stared down at her. "Like I said just stay away from him and if he comes near you leave or more importantly run. Run to me, run to Greagoir, run and hide, just get as far away from him as possible." He nodded curtly.

She gave a small nod up at him causing him to smile. "Good. Now lets go see about dinner." He nodded again and began walking towards the stairs.

xx

Zaniah watched the Templar sitting across from her and found him to be a rather strange man. He wasn't anything like the other Templars Greagoir had ordered to guard her and he definitely wasn't anything like anyone else she had met in her life.

The thing she found the strangest about him was his need to talk even if she didn't answer he would just keep on talking. She easily figured he was having her half of the conversation in his head based on the way he would just answer his own questions after a short pause. It was endearing that he was putting so much effort into trying to break through to her. Then again this was only the first day and she seriously doubted that he could keep this up. None of the other guards really put forth much effort to know her only enough to make Greagoir think they tried.

Except for Malick.

That man was evil through and through and if he was a mage she was sure he'd be a possessed mage. Maybe he was a possessed Templar though she never heard of such a thing happening but anything was possible. All she knew for certain was that Malick needed to either be dismissed or killed and she had a sneaking hunch that her new guard might just be the one to do the job. Or Greagoir would put a sword through the man but she didn't want to cause him any trouble. So she kept her silence about her and locked the pain into a room in the darkest corner of her mind.

She was shocked that this Cullen spotted the threat Malick posed so quickly. The others never did, probably because they would never suspect one of their own. They probably all looked at each other like the righteous Templars they were supposed to be and doubted any of them could be evil.

But they were evil she had experienced it enough times to know how evil they could be deep in their hearts. All her guards hurt her in one form or another physical, emotional, verbally, every way possible. Yet the ones that hurt the most were the ones that wouldn't eve try to get to know her. The way they looked at her like she was a burden they were forced to carry even if being her guard was something they signed up for.

"…beautiful…"

She was pulled out of her thoughts, back to his one sided conversations, and watched him suddenly blush and stutter out an apology. Every time he complimented her he would behave this way and she found it to be very cute and true. No one could act that well no matter what they were trying to accomplish.

Maybe this Cullen was different, maybe he really did care, maybe just maybe Greagoir found someone she could trust. Only time would tell for certain but at the moment it seemed this young Templar just out of his training was true to himself in his actions. Plus he didn't seem thus far the sorts to have sneaky ulterior motives to his actions. He seemed sincere in wanting to know her and to do what Greagoir brought him here to do. So she would give him a chance not that she had much of a choice but with this Cullen she wasn't going to hide up on the window seals away from him as often.

"You don't eat much; do you."

She looked up at his question then back down at her food which she had only taken a few bites of.

"That's not healthy you know."

She looked from her plate, to his, then up to his face. She wasn't hungry late in the day she rarely ever was so she pushed her plate across the table to him.

Cullen stared at the nearly full plate now in front of him then looked over at her as he pushed it back across the table. "You need to eat it." He nodded authoritatively. "You look so tiny like you haven't eaten more than a bite of bread all month."

What; did he expect her to be some large beastie that cracked the floor as she walked. She almost argued the point with him but kept her mouth shut. Talking never did her any good only irritated people as they would so often tell her.

The First Enchanter would deliberately avoid her when she was little saying her constant rambling always gave him a headache. The other mages and the Templars were always telling her to shut up and quit talking. Greagoir seemed to be the only one that didn't mind her mindless chatter.

He would let her follow him around telling him everything she knew or learned or whatever was running through her head. Or he would let her sit in his office on his desk asking him endless questions about him and what he did. Sometimes he would answer and explain everything she wanted to know. Other times he just sat there doing his work letting her talk and talk and talk.

Then that one night in which she showed them her power changed everything. They acted like she was a disease that they couldn't cure. She became to them something worse than a blood mage a horrible creature that needed to be put down. They all avoided her, refused to look at her, wouldn't even talk to her and worse. They wanted to turn her tranquil and tried to do so; twice.

She didn't know if the procedure hurt worse or the rejection of the only real father like figure she ever had. Sure she remembered the man who found her in the forest so long ago but she was hardly with him long enough to call him anything other than savior. Even if he kept in touch with her over the years and would send her things she needed. However you just couldn't be a father through letters because letters couldn't hug you, or lecture you, or chase the nightmares away. She was thankful to the man in the letters and to an extent did care for him but he wasn't there for her when she needed him. So she found a new father figure even if he didn't want to take up that role.

Greagoir on the other hand just had that aura about him that drew her to him. A great protector that could be gentle and kind one minute and stern and hard the next. She loved him like the father she never had and will never know. She still loved him even after all he did to her and knew he was sorry for what he did. She could see it in his eyes every time he looked at her. Even though he had apologized to her on many occasions. She forgave him and still loved him to death no matter what.

"Is that a yes or a no?"

Again she was pulled from her thoughts to the Templar staring at her expectantly. She had no idea what he was asking her about and she doubted she would answer if she did. Though he did seem to have this charming little thing about him that made it hard not to acknowledge him at times. Which was odd considering they had barely been around each other for a day.

"If I say please?"

Now she wished she had paid attention to him so she would know what he was pleading for. She could only assume it had something to do with her food since that seemed to be the topic of conversation prior. So she gave a curt shake of her head and pushed the plate back across the table towards him.

Cullen narrowed his eyes slightly. "So you are ignoring me." He nodded curtly at her then sighed deeply. "In that case I shall see you in the morning at breakfast." He stood up, gave her a small bow, gathered his dishes, and walked away.

Zaniah drew her brows as she watched him leave and wondered what he asked her. Maybe it was to go for another walk around the tower since he seemed to enjoy being on the move or so she guessed. Well he could walk himself to exhaustion if he so desired she was tired of walking.

So gathering her dishes up she stood and instantly felt eyes upon her form. It was a common enough feeling that told her that if she didn't escape now she wasn't likely going to. Malick was staring at her from the opposite door Cullen had exited through and right next to where she had to drop her dishes.

Suddenly Cullen's words echoed through her head...

_"Like I said just stay away from him and if he comes near you leave or more importantly run. Run to me, run to Greagoir, run and hide, just get as far away from him as possible."_

So she did exactly that, she left her dishes and ran out the opposite door. She'd probably get a lecture later about leaving her stuff for someone else to clean up but she didn't care. Cullen said run when Malick was near so run she did and wondered why she never thought of doing that exact thing before.

Probably because running was against the rules.

xx

If he wasn't such a stalwart Templar he might have stumbled several paces against the force that had crashed into him. Though the force that had hit him was barely as hard as a punch. As it was however it did force him to take a step forward making him wonder if he was falling ill. How could such a small bump cause him to stumble one step? Maybe he was just tired after a long long day of doing paperwork and his muscles were lethargic.

Before he could turn to see who had crashed into him from behind he felt the all too familiar feel of something tugging onto his sash. With a sigh he began walking again towing the little figure along behind him. "Zaniah you know running in the tower is against the rules." He said in his authoritive Knight Commander voice many feared, well with the exception of her and a few upstart Templars just out of training. They soon learned not to test him, Zaniah on the other hand generally ignored him and did it anyway.

Of course he didn't get an answer he never did when it came to her breaking the rules. So instead of lecturing her on the rules for the millionth time this month he continued on down the hall pulling her along behind.

"Alright young lady this is the third time this week you haven't eaten your dinner." He growled. "Don't think I haven't been watching because I have." He gave a nod to the Templar guarding the stairs heading to the next floor. "If you keep this up one more day I'll be forced to take drastic measures to make sure you eat."

He stopped at the bottom of the stairs and turned just enough to see her. "Do you understand me?" When she gave a small nod he nodded in return and continued on his way. "Now not that you'll answer me but how is your first day with your new guard?" He huffed irritably through his nose when all he got in response was silence. "For Maker's sake Zaniah how am I suppose to know if your guards are doing right by you if you don't tell me? For all I know they could be beating or raping you when I'm not looking because you won't talk to me." He growled angrily.

He suddenly came to a stop when the tension on his sash pulled tight enough to indicate that she had stopped walking. So someone was doing her wrong; was it a mage, a Templar, her new guard? He'd kill them with his own bare hands and in a most painful and bloody way.

"Who?" He demanded as he turned to face her a deadly scowl gracing his tired features. He watched as she kept her head downcast and tightened her hold on the red fabric in her hand.

He grabbed her by the chin, tilted her head up, and pushed her hood off with his free hand. "Who?" He again demanded as he stared into her wide silver/blue eyes. "If someone is hurting you I need to know who so I can stop it." He nodded curtly at her. "Now for the last time; who is it?"

He sighed deeply when she pulled her head from his grasp and looked off to the side. "Zaniah I can assure you nothing will happen to you if you tell me."

She shook her head. "My word against his. You can't watch over me all the time." She whispered sadly.

"I'll reassign him then." He lied with a nod.

"He'll hurt someone else." She answered, released the sash in her hand, pulled her hood back up, and took off back down the hall.

Greagoir sighed deeply through his nose and worked his jaw furiously. By Andraste's teeth he was going to find out just what the hell was going on and kill someone.

xx

Cullen walked down the hall heading for his room desperately wanting to get his armor off. It was hot, heavy, and the straps were chafing across his back. He was going to have to take it to the smithy and see if he could adjust the leather straps so they didn't rub so much.

He gave a shift of his shoulders as he rounded the corner trying to get the straps into more comfortable position. "Should have stayed in the Chantry instead." He grumbled to himself when the leather only seemed to rub worse against the tender spots.

"Excuse me?"

"Knight Commander." His eyes widened as he spun around to the voice coming from behind him.

Greagoir waved a dismissive hand through the air and got straight to the point. "Someone is harassing Zaniah and for reasons that make no sense she's protecting him or them or whoever it is." He nodded curtly. "If you can, see if you can't get her to tell you who it is or at least to point them out."

Cullen drew his brows deeply. "Why would she protect someone that's bothering her?"

"Because if they're bothering," he drawled the word out irritably. "her then it means they're not bothering someone else. And for the record this is more than just being bothered by someone." He growled irritated by this whole situation.

He had enough trouble when it came to Zaniah especially where the Chantry was concerned. He didn't need his own men or the mages making it worse by harassing her or whatever it was he or they were doing. Never mind that the little brat managed to crawl under his skin and weasel her way into his heart; she was the daughter he would never have. Those big innocent eyes would be his greatest undoing as not only a Knight Commander but a man who decided to play the role of father.

"Well sir," he sighed deeply. "I may have someone you might want to check into. I found his behavior towards her today rather suspicious. It bothered me enough that I told her should he come near her that she should run from him."

Greagoir narrowed his steely eyes to deadly little slits. "And who might this man be?"

Cullen shifted partly in nervousness and partly due to the chafing straps. "Well sir I," he looked down at the floor and shifted again. "I want to say and do the right thing but…"

"New to the ranks." Greagoir growled cutting him off and causing his recruit to look up at him. "Alright let me put it to you this way and see if being new is really that important." He glared at him. "If my child is harmed again and you knew but didn't say who it was it's no different than if you hurt her yourself."

His child? He knew Greagoir considered Zaniah to be like a daughter to him but he didn't think it was so much so as to call her his child. Though that explained the rumors about how badly Greagoir had beat he last guard who harmed Zaniah. Everything he heard ranged from a punch to breaking every bone in the man's body to having him still strung up in the basement so he could torture him as he pleased.

He sighed and shifted his eyes around him nervously knowing full well in a place this size with this many people the walls had ears. If he said and it was heard by the wrong people he may as well fling himself off the highest part of the tower right now. He again shifted nervously causing Greagoir to narrow his eyes even further upon him.

"In my office now." He growled knowing full well the boy wasn't going to speak out here in the open where everyone could hear. He turned on his heel and began walking down the hall with Cullen right behind him.

As Cullen followed behind him he watched as a little cloaked figure appeared practically out of nowhere, stepped in front of him, and grabbed a hold of Greagoir's sash.

The Knight Commanded didn't even skip a step against the small tug on the fabric around his waist. "Not now Zaniah I have business to take care of." Greagoir ordered with a curt nod.

Cullen nearly crashed into the girl when she suddenly stopped short pulling Greagoir to a stop with her. "A warning would have been nice." He grumbled once he regained his balance.

Greagoir sighed and turned to face her. "What is it then?" He mentally cursed himself for giving in so easily… again.

She held a small empty pouch up for him to see and nodded curtly.

He narrowed his eyes upon the little pouch then moved the stare down to her. "Firstly why should I allow you more when you don't eat your dinner? Secondly why do you leave them out where he can find them so easily?" He sighed deeply upon the receipt of no answer and took the pouch. "I'll send someone out tomorrow."

"And?" She demanded.

"I'll have a talk with Carroll about stealing your candy," he nodded curtly at her. "again."

She nodded up at him then released his sash, turned on her heel, and disappeared down the hall.

Cullen had to bite his lip to keep from laughing at the little scene between the two. He had just bore witness to how tightly Zaniah had Greagoir wrapped around her little finger.

Greagoir sighed deeply. "In my fall from grace I scarcely think I've reached the bottom."

"Or maybe it's not down you're falling." He supplied trying to sound all knowing.

Steel eyes narrowed slightly. "Boy I know up from down and I can assure you down is the direction I am heading."

"A bottomless pit perhaps?" He had no idea if he was making sense or not but hey it was worth a try anyway.

Greagoir snorted at that. "Perhaps." He nodded then turned and continued on his way.

xx

"Alright out with it."

Cullen shifted nervously and instead of telling him what he wanted to know he grabbed the quill and quickly scribbled a name on his hand.

Greagoir arched a brow at the boy when he showed him his open palm. "I can assure you there are no ears in here."

"No, but you can't say how close they are." He nodded back. "If I speak I'm a traitor to my fellow Templar especially when I have yet to be here for two full days. I quite like my ribs intact."

It had been such a long time ago that he was the new recruit that he forgot about the secret code. _Keep your mouth shut and we'll all get along just fine._ He hated that code then and he hated it worse now. However there wasn't anything he could do about it because even if he banned the use of the code they'd still use it anyway to keep breaking the rules.

"Alright I'll play along." He nodded at him and began writing a quick note on a piece of paper. "But if I find out who did this and you didn't say but knew you'll both be in trouble. I will not tolerate such behavior under my command towards anyone within this tower." He looked up and handed him the sheet. "Understood?"

Cullen took the paper and quickly read it.

**_13 mage suicides this year. His fault?_**

He gave a small grim nod. "I think so."

Steel eyes narrowed. "Find out." He ordered.

"Yes sir." He bowed and handed the paper back.

"Good." Greagoir glared hating all this secrecy stuff. "Now dismissed."

"Thank you sir." He bowed then turned and left the office.

xx

_X-One Month Later-X_

"Here this is for you," Dylan handed the scroll to Zaniah. "it's from aunt Leandra."

Zaniah took the scroll, opened it, and quickly read the contents. "This King's army?" She whispered and looked up at him.

Dylan nodded. "Yes both of them joined and they already left for Ostagar." He sighed. "There's a rumor that a blight is coming and they think that's where it's going to start." He sighed again. "Bethany is going to stay home with her mother just in case."

Zaniah looked down not really wanting to talk about this. Those people were her family for barely over a year; what did she know of them? That wasn't to say she didn't care but the cut of the truth still hurt. "I know what she is." She was sent away for fear of being a mage but Bethany and Malcolm were mages themselves. Then again she wasn't really his child anyway so why did it matter? Yet it did and it hurt and at least she had Dylan here to share the hurt and rejection with.

Dylan stared at her and pressed this lips together tightly. It was completely unfair that he and Zaniah were stuck in this prison but Malcolm before he died and his cousin were free. "I know you do." He nodded. "And I think it's just as unfair as you do so does mom that's why she adopted you as an Amell so you're not dirty Hawke. " He nodded approvingly.

"I'm her revenge as you are against Aristide for him making her give you up."

"Yea if grand dad didn't die maybe I'd still be with her." He moved to sit down next to her. "I hate Aristide but it won't do any good to keep complaining about it. Us Amells have to stick together and stand strong." He smiled when she nodded in agreement then changed the subject. "So this new guard of yours; think he's going to turn out to be a bastard like all the others?"

She sat there contemplating for a long moment then shook her head. Cullen was an oddity she couldn't explain or even understand. "He's different." She nodded. "Strange but different."

"So I've heard." He snorted. "Everyone thinks he like myself, Greagoir, and Carroll likes to talk to himself." He sighed deeply. "You have to tell Greagoir." He suddenly changed the subject again.

She shook her head and stared down at her lap. "If it's me…"

"You don't know that!" He cut her off. "As much as I hate Greagoir he would make sure he can never hurt anyone ever again; just like Samuel."

"He saw what Samuel did. It'd be my word against his."

"Even still," he argued. "if you tell him he WILL get the truth out of him and anyone else who knows." He pressed his lips together tightly. "If you don't tell him I will."

She looked over at him. "You promised."

"I don't care." He growled as he stared at her hooded form. "You're the only family I have left and I promised auntie and mother I'd watch over you. Seriously Zaniah how long do you expect me to sit here knowing what that bastard is doing to you and do nothing?"

"It doesn't hurt anymore."

"Oh, well, that makes it alright then." He growled, stood up, and stared down at her. "For the last time if you don't say anything I will." He bit out then stormed off.

She sat there quietly contemplating Dylan's words debating on whether or not she should in fact say something. She knew Greagoir would put a quick stop to it but what if he was only sent somewhere else where he could keep doing what he's doing. Someone else would suffer and it would be all her fault. She couldn't, no wouldn't let that happen.

"I've missed you."

She went stiff in the spine at the feel of two large hands on her shoulders and the deep voice whispered in her ear.

"I really hope you haven't been avoiding me." Malick purred and began to gently massage her shoulders.

_'Run Zaniah! Get away!'_ Her voice screamed in her head but she was frozen to the spot.

"I need you." He nuzzled the side of her head and moved his hands down her arms. "How about tonight I pay you a visit."

Her eyes snapped wide and she gave a curt shake of her head.

Malick snorted at that and squeezed her arms to the point of bruising. "That is not an option." He growled. "Be ready just the way I like you." He ordered deadly then released her and left the room.

She shuddered, wrapped her arms around her, pulled her knees up, and tried to curl in on herself. How could she pass this misery onto someone else? Who was she to make someone else suffer when the pain to her was just a dull ache?

"Are you alright?"

No she wasn't alright but she couldn't tell him that or anyone else for that matter.

Cullen narrowed his eyes upon her curled up form rocking back and forth on the bench. "Did someone bother you?" He demanded. "Did HE bother you again?" After the conversation he just had with Dylan it was clear what had just happened but he had to hear it for himself.

He didn't get an answer and part of him wasn't surprised the other part was hoping she'd finally opened up to him. Then again he had only met her the barely a month ago and made some headway with her but not much. She still didn't talk much to him but would give short answers to his questions or ask short questions of her own.

He had been investigating quietly as possible Malick's behavior towards her and other mages to see if he and the suicides were connected. The information he had collected so far was very little and it all led right back to Zaniah.

He had to get through to her and he didn't feel like he had anymore time to do so. A decision came quickly and one he did not think was a good one but he was willing to take the risk. So with a sigh and a prayer that he was doing the right thing he gathered her up into his arms, sat down on the bench, and just held her.

He was stunned at how light she felt and how small she seemed. If he didn't know better he would have sworn she was no more than a child of eleven or twelve. "Please tell me." He whispered and rocked her lightly. "I can stop it."

''You can't." She whispered. "No one can."

"That's not true." He sighed deeply through his nose. "I know and Greagoir knows he's doing something but we need to know what so we can stop it."

She shook her head and tried to get free of his hold. She had to get away before she did in fact tell him and ended up hurting someone else.

Cullen held her fast refusing to let her go. "I can assure you that you're not the only one in this tower suffering at his hands." He pointed out. "By not telling you may as well be hurting them yourself." It was a cruel thing to say and he didn't believe it for a second but something had to break through to her. "Think about that." He let her go and was surprised when she didn't jump up from his lap to get away.

She had never thought of it that way nor did she think he was hurting anyone else in the tower.

"So you know," he began really going for the throat. "we believe he's hurting some of the younger mages. They won't speak up because they fear they won't be believed. They think that Greagoir will think they're just saying it because they don't like us Templars. Imagine," he was going to hate himself for this knowing what it was going to make her feel once he said it. "one of the younger girls suffering what you suffer. They're too young to understand but are too scared to say. Suffering quietly with no escape but to end their lives." When he found out about the number of mage suicides in the tower he was shocked. Now he knew why there had been so many and there was only one person who could stop it. "Did you not wonder why so many of them have taken their own lives?"

She shook her head. "No." She whispered always believing that they ended it because they hated living here and took the cowards way out. Yet now that she really thought about it all the ones that have killed themselves were younger girls.

"He has to be stopped before someone else dies." He ordered. "And you're the only one that can do that. Save them Zaniah, do the right thing."

She frowned sadly and bit back the sting of tears at the knowledge that her silence may have caused so many deaths. "Tonight." She whispered sadly not wanting to do this but not wanting the death of another innocent on her hands because she didn't say something. "My room."

He gently rubbed her back in an attempt at reassuring her. "You're doing the right thing." He said quietly hoping no one was hearing this conversation and passing it along to Malick.

She sat there in his lap feeling strangely comfortable and safe. It was strange that he was able to make her feel that way and after such a short time. Maybe it was the sense of duty and honor he exuded or maybe it was the way he just treated her like she was just another human being like anyone else. Whatever it was she liked it and the only others that ever made her feel this safe was Greagoir, Dylan, and oddly enough that candy stealing jerk Carroll. It was nice to have someone else care enough about her to want to protect her. Perhaps Cullen was someone she could maybe talk to though her trust was still hard to come by and she wasn't ready to just start handing it out to everyone who treated her kindly. Then again no one else was treating her any other way than they normally treated her.

Maybe she could test the waters with her new guard and see if he was true in his intentions. Maybe just maybe father finally found her a guard that actually cared about others and not just himself. She'd give him a try and see if he showed any signs of being a bastard.


	2. Chapter 2

Greagoir, Cullen, Carroll, and Bran stood in darkened corner of the central room watching the stairs coming down from the Templar quarters. "Are you sure?" Greagoir whispered irritably. "We've been her for hours and nothing."

Cullen sighed deeply. "She said tonight unless someone overheard us and warned him."

Greagoir glowered deadly at him but it was a lost cause since it was so dark he couldn't see him. "How about I just go drag…" He trailed off when they heard the sound of quiet footsteps coming down the steps.

The candle light glowed eerily over Malick's face as he quietly made his way across the central room to the hallway leading to the mages quarters.

"We have to wait." Cullen ordered when Greagoir took a step. "He'll hear us coming."

"I don't care." He growled. "He's breaking the rules already."

"Yes and it's a rule that won't merit dismissal or imprisonment." Carroll supplied from behind him.

"I agree sir." Bran added as he moved to flank Greagoir.

Greagoir ground his teeth sharply. This went against everything he understood and everything he was as a Knight Commander. "How much longer?" He demanded growing antsy.

"I think we can make our move now." Cullen nodded and as quietly as possible began heading for Zaniah's room.

As they drew closer to Zaniah's room they could barely hear Malick's voice issuing commands. Greagoir's hand went straight to the hilt of his sword when he heard the words _bend over_ ordered by the bastard's mouth. He was going to run him through and rip out his insides. After he took care of this mess he was going to move Zaniah upstairs into the room next to his and do some rearranging of who was living where. Then he was going to weed out the guard doing some thorough performance reviews and show them all who was in control here.

He kicked the door open and instantly became blood red with rage at what he saw. He really didn't think he could contain himself and had not Cullen grabbed him and held him back he would have surely dismembered Malick on the spot.

Zaniah jerked her cloak back down and covered herself with a whimper before running and hiding inside her wardrobe.

"Sir!" Malick spun around, eyes wide, as he pulled his robe closed. "I… uh… I'm just…" He stumbled trying to come up with an excuse.

"Take him away." Cullen nodded at his fellow Templars. "Before the Knight Commander does something we'll all regret."

"Right." Carroll nodded. "Off to the dungeon with you." He walked over to Malick as Bran moved to stand on the other side of him. "We made sure the rats haven't for a few days so they might be hungry." He shoved Malick towards the door.

"He is to be guarded day and night until I see fit to deal with him myself." Greagoir growled through clenched teeth while still clenching the hilt of his sword in a white knuckle grip. "Only give him what he needs to keep alive."

"Yes sir." Bran bowed his head as they walked out the door with Carroll in the lead.

"Sir." Cullen drew his attention. "Zaniah."

Greagoir released his grip on his sword and quickly moved to the wardrobe. "Zaniah." The doors flew open causing him to take a step back before her little form was attached to his chest sobbing heavily.

"It's okay." He reassured as he wrapped his arms around her. "He'll never hurt you or anyone else ever again I swear it."

Cullen watched the scene and his heart clenched at her pain. He only wished he could have saved her before this ever started happening. However he was glad that they were at least able to finally bring this all to an end. "I'll take my leave." He placed his fist to his chest and bowed. "Be well Zaniah." He whispered as he rose back up to his full height.

Greagoir looked over at him. "I need you to take guard duty on her door and I'll have Carroll relieve you when he returns."

"As you wi…" He started with another bow but was cut off by Zaniah.

"No." She looked up at Greagoir and shook her head.

"You don't want him guarding your door?" Greagoir looked down at her shocked. "I can assure you he won't bring you any harm."

"I want him to stay," she looked over at the Templar in question then back up at Greagoir. "in here."

"No." Greagoir ordered as he stared hard at her. "That's inappropriate behavior."

"Then you stay in here with me." She pleaded and sniffed through her tears. "I don't want to be alone."

He didn't know what to do. He wanted to stay and comfort her but on the other hand he wanted to gut that bastard for doing this to her.

"Sir if I may," Cullen nodded at him. "I think you should stay with her she needs you now more than ever and I doubt Malick is going to be going anywhere."

Greagoir sighed deeply and nodded. "You're right. Though I'd rather be down there showing him what happens to those who do this under my guard."

Cullen nearly smirked at that but bowed his head instead. "I'll take up watch outside if you need me." He bowed again and exited the room.

Greagoir watched him leave then looked down at the girl still attached to his chest. "Why Zaniah? Why didn't you tell me?"

She shook her head against the metal of his breast plate. "If he found out…" She trailed off and clutched tighter to him. "And the others, I didn't know." She sobbed.

"I know." He tried to comfort. This was not his thing he was a soldier first, a Knight Commander second, and this father last. If only there was a woman in this tower that Zaniah trusted or cared about but she didn't. Actually now that he thought about it Zaniah didn't even have a single female friend. If only the Chantry would let her go so she could go out and live a normal life of her own.

However it wasn't likely they were going to ever give up on trying to sort out what she really was so she was stuck here. "Tomorrow you're moving upstairs where I can watch you better. Which is exactly what I should have done a long time ago." He growled.

She pulled back, pushed her hood completely off her head, and stared up at him. "No."

"It's not up for debate." He growled as he stared down at her then wiped the tears from her cheek. "This is the second time I know of," he narrowed his eyes deeply. "that someone is hurting you. It ends now Zaniah and if there's anyone else doing anything to you tell me now." His eyes narrowed even further when she looked away from him. "Who." He demanded as he grabbed her by the chin forcing her to look up at him. "I will not tolerate this kind of behavior under my command. Now tell me who so I can put a stop to it once and for all."

Thick tears spilled from the corner of her eyes as she stared up at him. "Templar Calvin and Uldred." She shuddered like the mage was right behind her but she knew he wasn't.

"I'll take care of Calvin as for Uldred," he gnashed his teeth. "he left to assist the King's army. However once he returns I will make sure he's sent to Aeonar when he gets back." He stared down at her and drew his brows. "What has Uldred done to you? He's not the rapist type."

She flinched like the mage was about to zap her where she stood and gripped his armor tighter. "He's trying to possess me, turn me into a demon." She frowned as a new wave of tears washed over her. "My powers he wants them so he can't be turned tranquil and still control the demons through controlling other mages. He uses his magic on me," she stared up at him wide eyed and afraid. "blood magic."

"Why have you never said anything about him?" He growled.

"I did, to Irving." She nodded.

"And?"

"He said he'd investigate it." She laid her head against his chest. "That was three months ago. I don't think he believed me."

He wanted to kill something or someone so bad he was nearly shaking with the rage of it all. Each and everyone of them were going to pay for this, no one hurt anything be it mage, Templar, or otherwise under his command. "I'm going to wash this tower from top to bottom." He growled.

She could do nothing but nod and hope that he would in fact be rid of all the evil within the tower. Yet evil existed everywhere and it could never be completely gotten rid of because peace and complacency always spawned evil.

"You should lay down and get some sleep." He nodded with a rub to her back. "I have to go make sure Malick is comfortable," he insinuated coldly. "and I'll leave Cullen on guard at your door." He grabbed her by the chin and tilted her head to look up at him. "Unless you don't think he can be trusted either."

She shook her head. "I'm as safe with him as I am with you."

He eyed her speculatively for a moment. "Alright." He conceded. "However should he or anyone else try to harm you you better tell me." He ordered. "Undersood?"

She nodded up at him. "Yes."

"Good." He leaned down and placed a kiss on her brow. "I'll be back to check on you once I've taken care of Calvin and Malick. And maybe even pull Irving out of bed as well." He added as an after thought. "I will let Cullen know that he is not to let anyone in this room but myself."

She nodded and wrapped her arms around his waist. "Thank you." She whispered.

"Thank you?" He furrowed his brows. "For what?"

"For taking care of me when you don't have to."

He snorted at that. "Someone around here has to do it so it may as well be me. Besides," he pulled her from him and stared down into her puffy red eyes. "you wouldn't have it any other way."

She smiled lightly at that. "You're the best father ever."

"Flattery will get you nowhere." He nodded curtly at her. "I'm thinking you need to be punished for not telling me what was going on." He stared thoughtfully at her. "Perhaps no candy for a month." He nodded.

She pulled away from him and wiped her eyes with her sleeve. "That's punishing Carroll not me."

"You can't fool me girl." He glowered. "I know you use that candy to bribe him and without it your art days are over."

She scowled at that. "You wouldn't really; would you?" She pouted.

"I might." He nodded and headed for the door. "If I don't see you before you go to bed I'll see you in the morning and be ready to move." He nodded curtly at her.

"I will." She nodded back.

"Good." He gave her a small reassuring smile then left the room. After he had the door closed he sighed deeply. "That girl is going to be the death of me." He grumbled.

"Sir?" Cullen questioned as he stared at him.

Greagoir shook his head dismissing it. "You are to stand guard on her door. No one is allowed to enter for any reason but myself."

"Understood." He gave a small bow.

He nodded at him and headed towards the stairs and deciding that Irving needed to get up and explain to him why the complaint against Uldred went nowhere. Then he would punch the old mage square in the mouth just to make himself feel better.

Cullen watched the Knight Commander leave and was glad he wasn't going to be the one on the receiving end of his rage. Greagoir looked like the kind of man you did not under any circumstances want to cross. He took up his position in front of Zaniah's door and hoped that the Knight Commander gutted the bastard in a painfully slow fashion.

"Cullen?"

"You should be in bed." He nodded though didn't turn around to look at her.

"I just wanted to say thank you." She whispered and stared down at the floor. "You were right I should have said something when it started."

That was the most she had ever said to him in one sitting. He couldn't help but to turn around and look at her causing her to look up at him. When his hazel locked with her silver/blue eyes his breath hitched in his throat. "You're… um…" He shifted nervously feeling his heart pounding madly in his chest. "I uh… I mean…"

Zaniah tilted her head to the side and drew her brows. "Are you okay?" She questioned and watched as a blush slowly crept up on his cheeks.

"S…sorry." He shifted. "I mean yes. It's just, just that I've," he smiled nervously. "I mean this is the first um… time I've seen your face… I mean you... I mean looked at you." He rubbed his brow nervously. "No, what I mean is I've never seen you." Why in Maker's name couldn't he get the words to come out right?

She watched him fidget nervously for a moment then pulled her hood up over her head. "Sorry." She whispered and looked back down at the floor. "I didn't think you would have a problem with how I looked. A lot of the people around here do, they think I'm cursed or I might curse them."

"No no," he shook his head and held his hands up defensively. "it's not that at all." He assured. "It's just that you're," he blushed again and began shifting from foot to foot. "we'll it's just um that you're uh… beautiful." He smiled and blushed a deeper shade of red when she looked up at him.

"I'm not," she gave a small shake of her head. "but thank you anyway."

"No really." He nodded. "You are very beautiful. I mean, ooh…" he began fidgeting again. "sorry. I'm just… well, no, you are beautiful and um, I'm going to stop talking now."

She looked back up at him and peered at him from beneath her hood. "You really think that?"

He gave her a nervous smile and again shifted slightly. "Yes, you are um a very beautiful woman." He nodded.

"Thank you." She looked down and too fidgeted.

"You should go get some uh… sleep." He suggested slowly getting his wits about him.

She shook her head as she continued to stare at the floor. "I'm not tired." She whispered. "Will you…" She trailed off not sure of what she wanted him to do.

He watched her toy with the sleeve of her cloak and wondered what she wanted him to do for surely he would do it.

"Never mind." She whispered and took a step back into her room. "Thank you again."

When she made to close the door he put his hand on it and stopped it causing her to start and look up at him. He had a sudden overwhelming sense that she should not be left alone. "Ask me." He nodded encouragingly at her. "You can trust me." He assured. "It's been nearly a month since we met have I given you any cause to worry?"

She shook her head. "No." She whispered. "It's just it would be inappropriate."

"We'll leave the door open so its not." He moved his hand from the door to her shoulder, turned her around, and with a gentle push guided her over to sit on her bed. Once she was situated he moved to sit in the chair on the other side of the room.

She wrung her hand nervously in her lap wanting to let him in to her little bubble but on the other hand sacred to do so. What if he came in and turned into something ugly something like Malick or even worse? So far since taking on as her personal guard he had been nothing but kind almost overly kind and that's what made her nervous.

It seemed so genuine but on the other hand was it just an act? Was he simply doing his duty fulfilling it the best he could to achieve a higher rank? Was she a means to an end only Greagoir would see? Or was he truly everything he portrayed himself to be to her?

"I promise you I'm not going to hurt you."

She looked over at him like he was reading her thoughts which she knew was absurd.

"I know you have no cause to believe me." He nodded. "Though I hope my actions over the course of the last month speak enough for me."

"You have been very kind." She nodded and looked back down at her lap. "But…"

"I'm not the others." He defended cutting her off. "If I were you'd still be in here with that bastard and no help coming." His eyes hardened at the memory of what was so recently occurring in this very room. "I don't know what more I can do to prove to you that I'm not going to hurt you."

"You don't have to do anything," she shook her head. "it's my own fear I have to overcome to allow you in."

"You already have." He pointed out causing her to look at him again. "If you didn't I wouldn't be here and you wouldn't have told me about Malick."

That was a logic she couldn't argue with nor was she going to try.

He wasn't going to press this was her obstacle to overcome and all he could do is wait for her to jump over it. So he fell silent so she could decide on what she wanted to do next.

She didn't know what to say or to do not liking this awkward silence. The responsibility to fill the void between them was clearly hers to fill. She was the one that wanted him in here with her so she had to make the effort this time. She didn't know what to say so she let the first thing that came to mind come out of her mouth. "I can draw you."

"If you wish." He smiled and blushed lightly.

He watched as she got up, gathered her drawing supplies off her desk, and sat down in front of him on the floor. As she went to work he watched her and wondered if she made faces while she drew or not. He had seen some of the others within the tower that liked to draw and several of them would have their tongue out of their mouth working as hard as their hand was. He couldn't picture her doing that but then again it was possible. "Um…" he started causing her to stop and look up at him. "can I uh I mean." He blushed lightly not only wanting to see if she had a tic like that but just to see her beautiful face again. He only saw it long enough to see her oddly colored eyes and the pale creamy tone of her skin before it was hidden from view. "I want to watch you draw."

She tilted her head slightly as she looked up at him. "But you are."

"No." He shifted nervously in his seat. "I mean y your uh… f face." He felt his cheeks and ears burn hot under his blush.

She sat there for a long moment staring and contemplating his request before she raised a slow trembling hand and removed her hood. She quickly looked down at her lap the second their eyes locked.

Cullen felt his breath hitch at the sight of her for the brief second before she looked down blocking off her face with the top of her head. He didn't mind for the moment being it gave him a chance to see what her eyes distracted him from; her hair. He had never seen anything like it in his life it was nearly the exact same color as her eyes. Silver in the same sense a star looked silver with the lightest of blue tinting it.

She had it pulled back into a low pony tail with the rest of it beneath her cloak and he wanted desperately to pull it loose and see it spill down around her. He wanted the see the full picture, the milky white skin, the silver/blue eyes, hair the same color, her pink lips all of it. As he put the image together in his head words spilled from his lips that he didn't intend to speak aloud. "A twilight star fallen from the sky." He whispered.

She snapped her head up to look at him and drew her brows. "What?"

He blushed again as he came out of his daze and locked stares with her. "If if a star fell from the um the heavens and became human," he smiled at her feeling his blush darken feeling like it was searing his skin. " I think it would look like uh look like you."

She didn't know if that was a good thing or bad though the way he was stuttering it kind of felt like he meant it in a good way. "Is that good or bad?" She looked back down at her lap a little uncomfortable at being so exposed in front of him.

"Good," he nodded though she wasn't looking at him. "it's good I swear. Y you're beautiful." Maker he was going to blush himself to death; not an honorable way to die to be sure.

"You're the first one to ever call me that." She whispered and went to work on her drawing of him.

"I don't think I would be the only one if you didn't hide." He said after he finally got himself pulled back together.

"No." She gave a small shake of her head. "There was a time when I showed my face for everyone to see. They all whispered behind my back calling me names and teasing me."

"You didn't start hiding because of them; did you?" He was stunned she was talking this much so suddenly and he was going to do his level best to keep the conversation going.

"Partly." She used her pinky to smooth out a line on the paper.

"What's the other part?"

She stopped drawing and slowly looked up at him. "The burn from the rite." She lifted her free hand to touch her brow. "It made me even uglier until the burn faded." She looked back down.

"I can't believe Greagoir would do that to you." He shook his head.

"It wasn't by choice." She whispered. "The Chantry sent delegates to make sure the rite was performed on me. When it failed the first time they tried again the very next day." A silent tear escaped the corner of her eye. "It hurt so much that I fell unconscious for two days. Father was so angry," she scowled at the paper fighting off the tears of pain from the ordeal that was so long ago but still hurt so much. "he ordered them to leave and told them if they ever returned he would have them drawn and quartered."

"I assume that didn't go over well with the Revered Mother." He shook his head and felt his respect grow even more for the Knight Commander.

"No it didn't." She sighed. "Father petitioned the Grand Cleric and she put a stop to the orders for them to try the rite on me again or ever."

"Good." He nodded curtly. "Though why do they want you to be turned tranquil?"

"I don't know." She looked up at him. "Father says they fear me but he doesn't know why."

"Perhaps its one of your powers?" He suggested with a small shrug. Here-so-far the only power of hers anyone knew of was her ability to share her memories and part of him was hoping it was her only power. If it came out that she had other well there was no telling what the Chantry might do to control or remove her powers.

She looked off to the side at that and gave a curt shake of her head. "I'm not a mage." She whispered bitterly.

"No you're not." He nodded. "But you do have powers whether they be magic or not. The Chantry was created…"

She looked over at him with a deadly glare marring her features. "Do not defend that evil institution to me." She bit out icily. "They make their vows to a barbaric murderer of innocents because she **believed** they were responsible for the first blight. They put their belief in a Maker who turned his gaze away from them because his murdering wife was brought to proper justice. Are you aware that she killed all within the Tevinter Imperium be it man, woman," her voice dropped to a quiet poison filled whisper. "or child?"

He was taken aback by her sudden outburst and the anger and hostility that came with it but not surprised. If he was her he would feel the same but on the other hand he had made the same vows to defend the Chantry and all it stood for. Yet as much as he wanted to stand in defense of what he believed he also believed this was his chance to get closer to her. A chance to really find out who and what she was, the Maker would forgive him for holding his tongue for the greater good.

"Sorry I didn't… I mean I shouldn't have brought it up after knowing all you've been through." He looked down at his lap.

Zaniah sighed deeply. "No don't be. I'm sorry for snapping at you." She too looked down at her lap. "That Chantry has corrupted me against everything they stand for and I have no right to take it out on their followers."

He made a mental note to himself to never bring up the Chantry or his beliefs in it to her again. Although the way her rage made her glow almost like she was actually radiating light from her body tempted him to provoke her ire a second time.

"A higher power is the true owner of my wrath."

He looked up at her brows furrowed deeply. "The Maker?"

"There is no such thing." She locked stares with him, eyes hard and steely. "The Maker was a story created by the old Gods and fed to man to test their devoutness to them." A cynical smirk pulled on the corner of her lips as she stared straight at him. "Clearly man failed the test and continues to do so."

For reasons he couldn't understand he was feeling almost ashamed of his beliefs. He had crossed paths with those that didn't believe before but he never once felt ashamed. He really didn't want to have this conversation with her anymore but on the other hand he wanted to hear what she believed. He could see something in her eyes that said she knew something mortal man did not. That prompted a statement he did not expect to form on his lips and was shocked when he heard himself say it.

"You are not a mortal." His eyes widened at his own words and he watched as a slow small smile crept across her lips.

"I bleed if that's what you're wondering. I can die like any other man or woman. I can feel, see, taste, everything any other living person can do."

"But that doesn't make you mortal." He pointed out though not really sure of his own argument. He never considered what it truly meant to be mortal before other than the fact all mortals bled and died.

She eyed him carefully. "Tell me then what does it mean to be mortal if not those things."

A dawning revelation suddenly struck him. The possible reason the Chantry feared her and the reason after a month of being her personal guard he had never really heard her speak. It explains why he would hear Carroll having lengthy arguments with her over her latest missing candy stash but never hear her utter a single word. Why he would hear Greagoir lecturing her over one thing or another and answer words never heard spoken. Had he not been so enamored by the beauty of her face he would have never noticed it. "You can speak into people's minds." He whispered as he realized the last words he actually heard her speak aloud causing her lips to move were her saying she wasn't a mage. "That's why they fear you." He nodded.

She looked straight at him hard silver/blues boring into deep hazels. "Do you fear me?" She actually spoke the words aloud for any to hear.

"No," he shrugged. "why should I?"

"Then you ser Cullen are a better man then most." She gave him a small bow of her head.

xx

Cullen lay in his bed staring at the ceiling listening to his other two roommates snore and fluctuate in their sleep. After so many years of rooming with other men the noises were nothing but a sound in the background much like a cricket in the night. His thoughts were to busy trying to sort out the enigma that was his charge.

He wondered if Greagoir knew that she could speak into the minds of people. Did Carroll? Dylan? Did the Chantry? It wasn't noticeable that strange ability of hers for when she spoke it sounded like she was speaking aloud with the only difference of her lips failing to move. Maybe they didn't notice because she was always hidden beneath the material of her cloak. Or maybe they did notice but never said anything because it wasn't anything new to them.

He was sure it was the former however for if not why didn't Greagoir inform him of her power? He didn't remember reading it in her file and certainly there would have been some mention of it somewhere especially where the Chantry was involved. Then again she kept saying that Greagoir wasn't sure why the Chantry feared her so maybe he didn't know.

One thing was certain and that was there was more to the girl than anyone thought. He was almost positive that she was but wasn't human and as such gave her strange powers. The question was however were her powers stronger than a mage's or were they the same only different?

The answer could only come if he knew what she was. She was a human but not, a mage but not, a creation of the Maker but not or at least she would say.

That was the other thing about her he found odd. Her without a doubt certainty that the Maker did not exist. When she had said that she sounded as though she was there to bare witness to the first tale spun of the Maker. Almost like she knew the old Gods herself and was there when they forged the tale.

Of course the tale wasn't a tale at all. The story of the Maker and Andraste was Maker written truth. There was no proof saying otherwise but plenty of proof saying that what the Chantry said was truth.

Was that why the Chantry feared her? Did they fear she might start going around spouting her blasphemy against the Maker and create a rift within the masses? Really in order to solve the riddle of the connection between Zaniah and the Chantry he needed to know what the Chantry knew. He could speculate until the Maker himself came down and told him the truth from his own lips.

Perhaps Greagoir knew and could shed some light on the subject. He would ask him in the morning before meeting Zaniah for breakfast.

xx

"This was not how I intended on spending my morning." He adjusted the box in his hands as he made his umpteenth trip up the stairs to the Templar quarters. "How can you have so much stuff when it looks like you don't own a thing?"

"I'm organized." Zaniah answered from in front of him carrying a pile of clothes.

"So am I but that still doesn't explain how you have so many things." He looked down at the contents of the box he was carrying filled with trinkets of every kind. "Where do you acquire so many things anyway?"

"Father sends for most of them. Family Hawke sends me some sometimes. Revka Amell send things from her travels. Carroll brings them back from Redcliffe when he has to run business." She shrugged. "And ser Bran sneaks me little things so I won't tell everyone what a softie he really is."

"Well," he followed her into her new room next door to the Knight Commander's. "I guess my idea of befriending and bribing you through trinkets won't have any affect."

"You could try." She turned to face him and pushed her hood off her head. "Maybe you'll find something I don't already have."

He shook his head and smiled at her. After their talk last night it seemed as she allowed him to take a step into her bubble. She had conversed with him more since breakfast than they had in the last month of knowing each other. Though he had to wonder how much of their conversation was her actually talking and how much was her talking in his head. He wished she would keep her hood off all the time so he would know when she was but wasn't talking to him. Baby steps, each conversation and each second spent together was one more step closer to opening her up.

"Maybe flowers." He nodded and set the box on the desk. "They don't last and they're new every time you get one." He looked over at her and felt his breath hitch when she smiled at him.

"Maybe." She looked away at the face he was making.

"Y you should smile like that more uh more often." He blushed. "You're beautiful."

"Do you say that because you believe it or," she turned to face him. "are you saying it just to be nice?"

He heard her say the words as if she spoke them out loud but the lack of movement by her mouth told him she was speaking in his head. It was a little unsettling but he could endure it as long as she couldn't read his thoughts. "Because I believe it." He answered honestly biting down his nerves. He watched as she smiled at him again and gave a bow of her head.

"Thank you." She looked up at him and the sweet smile he was flashing her kept her own smile in tact.

Cullen himself was definitely a battle she was losing against allowing him entry into her little world. There was just something about him that let him slide past her defenses unnoticed and uncared about when caught. The only other person to do that was Carroll by being that annoying brother that always wanted what his sibling had; namely her candy and picking fights with her to get it. Yet that wasn't the same as what this Cullen was doing and she was unsure of what would happen to her when she lost the war to keep him just on the edges of her world.

"Well, shall we make another trip or would you like to take a break?"

"A break would be nice." She sighed. "Too bad father wouldn't let us use a mage or two to move everything or at least a few Templars." She sighed again. "With just the two of us I think it's going to take days to move everything two floors up."

"Agreed." He nodded. "Well lets take a break then," he stared at her. "where would you like to go and rest?"

She stared at him for a long silent moment before she nodded. "Come on." She pulled her hood back over her head and left the room.

"Where are we going?" He followed behind dutifully.

"You'll see." She led him toward the stairs heading back down.

xx

She led him to the corner behind the statue in the common room and sat down on the floor. "Stand here." She pointed right next to her. "Stand like you always do when guarding me."

He stared at her on the floor for a long moment wondering just what she was doing before taking up his ordered position.

"How much trust do you have for me?"

"Well I don't think you would bring me harm or try to if that's what you're asking." He looked down at her and found she wasn't looking up at him meaning she was talking in his head. Especially since her voice was as loud as if she was standing right next to him and not sitting down on the floor. "I mean we've sort of known each other for just over a month now and I guess you could say we're friends."

"If I said I'd trust you with my life what would you say?"

He stared at the top of her downcast hooded head and drew his brows. "I'd say you're crazy for putting so much trust into someone you've only known for that short of time. At most at this point you should at best trust me to stand at your side and maybe watch your back."

"Good," she tilted her head up to look at him and to allow him to see her face from within the hood. "now I know how much you trust me."

He drew his brows at that and crossed his arms over his chest as he leaned against the wall. "Zaniah what is this about?"

"Trust." She nodded up at him and pressed her lips tightly together. "I want to show you something but I need you to trust me as I need to trust you." She answered in his head. "If you don't think you can trust me say so now and we'll just go to the gardens instead."

Now his curiosity was piqued beyond comprehension. "Is this one of your other powers?" He questioned in a quiet whisper though no one was close enough to hear their conversation… well his half of the conversation anyway.

"Yes." She nodded. "Bran and farther are the only ones who knows of this power and they have kept it a secret from everyone including the Chantry." She fiddled with the sleeve of her cloak and looked down at her lap. "The truth is this is most likely what the Chantry will exploit most of me where they to find out about it. They both know this and they've seen what they have done to me. They keep it quiet to save me from their brand of torture."

Now he wasn't sure if he wanted to know or not. If the Chantry was doing that to her what would they do to someone they thought knew the answers to the puzzle that is Zaniah. "How does Bran know?"

She sighed deeply. "He knows because he's the one who would have to hold me when they would try to turn me tranquil. By physical contact and due to the pain I suffered I couldn't stop from revealing it to him." She looked back up at him and pushed her hood off her head. "Cullen can I trust you?" She questioned out loud in all seriousness.

He stared into those beautiful eyes and nodded sincerely. "Yes." With that affirmation he knew that whatever she was about to show him would never be spoken of at least by his lips.

She searched his face for a long moment before locking onto his golden eyes trying to find just an ounce of deceit within them. She found nothing but honesty staring back at her and knew he would hold his word. "Alright," she nodded up at him. "just relax and look natural."

He did as he was told and acted like this was any other day with him standing guard over his charge. That was until he felt his robes moving about his legs and cool fingers suddenly touching the back of his bared knee just above his boots. "Zaniah!" He gasped and took a step away breaking the contact. When he locked stares with her she looked more irritated than scandalized like she should have, like he was. "What in Maker's name are you doing?"

Zaniah sighed deeply and stared pointedly at him. "You said you trusted me."

"I do." He looked about him to make sure no one noticed their little scene. "But what you were doing." He whispered harshly.

"Touching you." She nodded like it was no big deal which it wasn't. "I need physical contact." She locked stares with him. "Skin to skin."

"You should have said that in the first place." He nodded vigorously, removed his gauntlet, and held his hand out to her.

She stared at his outstretched hand. "And people won't find it odd; me holding your hand? The point is to not draw attention our way and holding hands will do just that." She pointed to the spot he was so recently occupying. "Now standing here won't look any different than any other time you've stood here."

"Inappropriate." He defended again a little weakly.

She stood up and pulled her hood back on. "Never mind." She grabbed him by the arm. "We'll go walk the gardens instead."

He didn't know what to say. He wanted to see what she was going to show him but on the other hand the touching. Not to say it wasn't nice and the feeling of her cool fingers on the back of leg still hauntingly lingered. It was principle and inappropriate.

xx

"Sorry the gardens are off limits during class hours."

Zaniah stared at what was clearly a new guard standing in front of the door. "New Templar the gardens are off limits to mages."

The young Templar stood his ground by taking a firmer stance in front of the door and crossing his arms over his chest. "No one is allowed past these doors during class hours." He ordered and looked from the girl to the Templar standing behind her. "Isn't that correct?" He questioned to get confirmation from his senior comrade.

Cullen couldn't exactly argue with that because it was in fact true. "Correct." He looked at his charge and easily could tell the words he was hearing were words spoken in his head.

"Do not affirm him." She hissed.

He just shrugged down at her wanting to see how she would handle this situation. She couldn't always be silent depending on others to speak for her. She had to step out of her bubble sometimes and now was as good a time as any.

Zaniah moved her eyes from her Templar to the newest member of the tower. "Again I'm not a mage and I have every right to go into the gardens."

"Sorry ma'am I'm under strict orders to not allow any in the gardens until classes are over." He stood firm.

"You could tell him who…" Cullen started but was cut off by her voice in his head.

"I don't need my status to get past this infant." She cut him off.

He shrugged again. "Suit yourself." He answered garnering an odd look from the boy guarding the door.

"Alright Templar child recite the order given." She demanded.

He bristled at the insult and narrowed his eyes upon her form trying to look intimidating. "Knight Commander Greagoir said no one is allowed in the gardens until all classes are over."

"Do I look to be in class to you?" She crossed her arms over her chest.

"No."

"So my class must be over; right?"

"I suppose." He shifted at this odd logic she was throwing at him.

"Therefore I can go into the gardens."

"No." He realigned his stance. "He said classes not class and classes contain more than one person. I see no other students out of class."

"Clever lad." Culled nodded feeling her turning her glare onto him when she looked up at him.

Zaniah sighed irritably through her nose ready to order Cullen to stomp the git until he was a bloody pulp at her feet. However before word one could pass her lips the child was saved.

"Zaniah," Greagoir walked up to them. "what are you doing? Why are you not moving your things?"

"Taking a break." She nodded up at him. "With only the two of us it's not going to get done very quickly."

"Well that's why I was looking for you. Dylan and Jowen will help after their classes are over as will Carroll."

"Thank you." She nodded.

"You're welcome." He smiled at her then turned on his heel and headed back the way he came then suddenly stopped. "Oh and one other thing," he turned to face her once again. "did you turn in your work?"

"It's on your desk." She nodded. "When are you going to stop giving me homework? I finished all my classes."

"Idle mind girl." He narrowed his eyes deeply upon her.

She wrinkled her nose though he couldn't see her do so. "My mind isn't idle."

Greagoir snorted at that. "A good thing too." He looked over at Cullen. "And you'll be moving your things as well."

"Sir?" He arched his brows highly at him.

"You, Carroll, and Bran will take up bunkroom next to Zaniah's room." He nodded curtly. "I will not take any risks and have what happened to my child happen again."

"Yes sir." He bowed his head.

"Good, this tower will be cleansed in no time."

Zaniah sighed deeply. "Really cleansing the tower because of one man?"

"Not one but four." He growled and narrowed his eyes upon her. "And you young lady are on walking that threshold of restriction."

"Why?" She nearly gasped.

He glowered even harder at her. "For not telling me what was going on, again."

"But…"

He held up a silencing hand cutting off her argument. "I will hear no arguments out of you on this." He ordered. "Just know that if I find out one more person is doing you wrong and you haven't told me you'll be on restriction for the next year if not more. Do you understand me?"

"Yes sir." She bowed her head.

"Now this is your last chance; is there anyone else?"

She started to shake her head then suddenly stopped and looked up at him. "Yes sir."

Greagoir arched a silver brow highly. "And who might that be?"

"This new Templar child you recruited." She pointed at the guard watching the interaction between the Knight Commander and her closely with brows drawn deeply.

"I'm not amused." He growled then turned on his heel and walked away.

"That went over smoothly." Cullen snorted.

Zaniah sighed deeply and turned back to the guard in front of the door. "I assume you're smart enough to figure out who I am now. And I'll also assume you're smart enough to get out of the way."

The new Templar looked from the last location of the Knight Commander to the girl unsure of what to do. He was under strict orders not to let anyone through but this was clearly the daughter of the Knight Commander. "I…"

"I'll take responsibility." Cullen nodded cutting him off. "If the Knight Commander disapproves of you letting her through I will deal with the repercussions." He nodded. "Senior Templar orders."

The boy nodded not all that assured he wouldn't get chewed out for letting them through.

Cullen smirked when he heard the boy whisper to himself about the Knight Commander talking to himself. It made him wonder if Greagoir knew or not and want to kick himself for not catching him earlier that morning to ask.

Once outside Zaniah gripped her Templar by the arm seeking out the small spot between his amour to grab his bicep. "I hate new recruits."

"You know you keep doing that and they'll take your precious Knight Commander away calling him mad." He nodded down at her.

"Doing what?"

"Talking to him without saying a word." He smirked at her. "I've watched you and you do it more than you would think."

"Do I?" She questioned pushing her hood off to look up at him.

He chuckled lightly at that. "Yes you do. You have lengthy conversations with Greagoir where he's the only one saying a word and Carroll," he shook his head. "well quite a few people think he too is losing his mind. Your arguments with him are always one sided, his side." He led her down the path that circled the garden. "And you do it to me quite often as well."

"I didn't realize." She nodded and drew her brows. "It's such a natural thing to do that I don't realize I'm doing it. At least I don't think so." She looked up at him. "Do I do it to everyone?"

He shook his head. "Not that I can tell." He shrugged. "It seems you only do it to those you trust enough. Every word you said to the boy at the door you said out loud but most of your argument with Greagoir was one sided."

"Really?" She widened her eyes up at him. "Do they know I do that?"

"I don't know." He shrugged again. "I'm kind of anxious to ask just to see their reactions." He smirked down at her. "Well Greagoir's anyway. I have a hunch that Carroll will either know you do it and not care or just not care. You are a means to an end after all."

"Hey." She scowled at him. "It's not always about sweets with him."

"Isn't it?" He arched a brow. "What else is there?"

She sighed. "Sibling rivalry. You know he was the youngest Templar ever brought into the tower and he's the same age I am. He took his vows at thirteen and got here not but one month later. Actually I think even now he's still the youngest in the tower." She nodded. "Father took a liking to him and well he's the odd son father never had."

Cullen drew his brows deeply at that. "That is young." He nodded. "Most Templars don't take their vows until at least their fifteenth or sixteenth year."

"Well he was a problem child from what I heard and the Chantry wanted to get him off their hands. Father took him thinking to mold him into a perfect copy of himself. Heir to the Templar throne in the Circle of Magi."

Cullen laughed at that. "I'm sure he's disappointed that his grand plan is failing."

"It's not." She shook her head and smiled up at him. "They are alike in so many ways that some wonder if Carroll is in fact father's true son. The only difference is father can be a monster sometimes and Carroll well I wonder if he has a cruel bone in his body."

"He must have something to pass training." He nodded. "It's not all promises to serve the Maker and obey the Chantry."

"I suppose." She nodded. "What about you? Did you have anyone you took on as your adopted family?"

He shook his head. "No. It was made very clear to me that I was a servant of the Maker from the second I decided I wanted to be a Templar. There was never any room for anything else."

She drew her brows and looked down at the path they were walking on. "But what about before that? You weren't always in the Chantry you said so yourself."

"I was an orphan and looked upon as all orphans are," he sighed. "a burden."

She scowled at that. "That's awful." She curled her fingers tighter around his arm.

"That's the way it is." He nodded. "But that's the past and here we are in the now so it doesn't matter."

"True." She agreed as they made their second pass around the circle path of the garden.

"I was wondering if you don't mind," he looked down at her holding his arm and smiled at her when she looked up at him. "if you could explain this whole Amell/Hawke family thing you're twisted up in." He snorted. "You're file reads like a family tree that's been planted upside down and backwards."

"It is." She sighed deeply. "Which makes me glad they're not really my family sometimes, I mean all the time but I do love Dylan so…" She trailed off and shrugged.

"At least you have someone that's like family here that's not a Templar."

"I'm quite happy with my Templar family." She gave his arm a squeeze. "They've treated me better than anyone else."

"Oh I didn't mean to offend." He bowed his head slightly.

"You didn't." She furrowed her brow. "You're a Templar my Templar so to speak so welcome to my family."

He wrinkled his nose at that. "I don't know that I want to be _family_ to you. For some reason it sounds wrong."

She stared up at him taking in his features and found the small wrinkling of his nose to be rather cute. "Well I guess I'll find a place to put you eventually." She shrugged.

"I don't know if I should feel insulted by that or not." He scowled down at her.

"I'd say not." She led them to a bench to sit. "But if you want to be insulted by that then by all means."

"Alright so back to topic." He sat down next to her. "This adoptive family of yours."

"Are you sure you want to hear about it?" She scowled. "It's rather twisted and boring."

He arched a brow at that. "When you put twisted and boring together like that," he nodded. "I have to know."

"I mean twisted in the way family politics are twisted." She nodded. "But if you insist."

"I do and I do insist that you quit talking in my head." He looked down at her hand when she reached up and grabbed his arm again wondering at her need to touch. "I feel like I'm talking to myself when you do that."

"Sorry." She smiled lightly at him. "Habit."

"Apology accepted." He patted the hand on his arm.

"Alright so the Amell/Hawke family nightmare." She sighed. "It all starts with Aristide Amell the most wealthy, powerful, and influential man in Kirkwall. He was going to be Viscount with the backing of the Templars."

"He must have been someone to get the Templars to back him." He nodded.

She nodded back at him. "Well the greatest scandal to shake the city happened forcing him to withdraw his name from the position." She smirked at him. "His niece gave birth to a mage."

He couldn't help but smile at the way her eyes sparkled at that. "I take it you don't like the man much."

"I don't and I'm well within my rights but not as much as Dylan." She glowered. "He forced Revka his niece to give up her child to the circle but allowed his own daughter to run away with an apostate mage."

"And let me guess this apostate mage is the man that found you."

She smiled. "Yes but that's not where this all gets twisted. It starts with Aristide's death and the estate he left behind. The way I understand it to go is that Fausten Aristide's brother and Revka's father when he died Aristide took Revka in and raised her like she was his own. So of course she was put in his will and left with a portion of the estate upon his death. Especially since he took over his brother's estate and combined it with his own so it was only fair Revka was willed a portion."

"I can see where this is going already." He shook his head.

"Exactly," she nodded at him. "he died and the estate was suppose to be split between her, his daughter, and his son. However his son Gamlen a dirty gambling weasel tried to petition the Viscount to gain all of the estate to support his gambling and pay off his debts. Revka found out and put in her own petition to gain complete control of the estate preventing Gamlin from getting his hands on any of the money."

"Twisted." He smirked.

"No I haven't gotten to the twisted part yet." She sighed deeply. "When word got back to Leandra Aristide's daughter she put in her own petition to gain access to the estate. Which locked up the estate leaving no one with access to any of it and the Viscount refusing to make a decision until the family worked out the feud between them. This is where it starts getting really twisted."

His hazel widened as he shook his head. "I was never one much for court gossip but now I know why so many want to hear about it."

"Yes and I'm just glad that only my name is used and I'm not actually a part of it." She nodded. "Anyway Revka decided to rat out Malcolm as an apostate to gain an edge because after all she did the right thing and turned in her own son. That was when she found out about me. Word got back to Malcolm and Leandra that Revka turned them in so he turned me over to the Templars and ran leaving his family behind. He got caught of course and gave his life in a battle with the Templars. The rumor was he only had one child," she placed her hand to her chest pointing out who this supposed child was. "me and that I too was a mage and he turned me over to Ser Bryant." She shrugged. " Of course when asked it turned out that he did turn a child over to Ser Bryant and he sent me here. Clearly the truth about me eventually came out."

"So the Templars didn't search out his real family because he turned in his supposed apostate child." He pointed out.

She nodded. "Revka found out about his death and me being put into the circle. So her next big task was to petition to adopt me as her own because no one knew where Leandra was, Malcolm was dead, and Gamlen was a deadbeat."

"Did she succeed?"

"She did." She sighed deeply. "Now the latest is that she's petitioning to have Aristide's estate divided up between myself and Dylan."

"So she can take it from the both of you because you're both considered mages and will never be able to have access to it." He finished for her.

"And there you have the twisted family feud between the Hawkes and Amells. Currently I'm an Amell because the Viscount allowed the adoption but when I came here I was considered a Hawke." She then grinned up at him. "But that's not the end of it."

"Oh let me guess," he smirked at her. "Greagoir is fighting to adopt you as his own."

She smiled at that. "That's half of it. He's not only petitioning to have me adopted as his own but to get the portion of the estate that's mine based on Revka's petition."

"But you still won't have access to it." He drew his brows deeply. "So long as the Chantry considers you to be a mage this is where you'll live."

"True." She nodded. "But the money from the estate and the Amell name will give me influence to fight the Chantry to prove I'm not a mage. That way I can still live here, not as a mage…"

"But as the Knight Commander's daughter." He cut her off and smiled at her.

"And there you have the sick and twisted tale of how I'm an Amell or a Hawke depending on who you talk to."

He stared over at her. "And who do you consider yourself to be?"

She looked up at him and smiled. "Zaniah the Knight Commander's idle minded daughter." She jerked her head towards the entrance of the garden leading him to look over at said Knight Commander glaring at the two of them.

"I guess it's time to get back to work." He stood up pulling her up with him.

"I just wonder how he finds the time to worry about what I'm doing when his desk is overflowing with paperwork, he has a tower to run, meetings with the First Enchanter, and cleansing the tower from top to bottom."

"I don't think he sleeps." Cullen shrugged as they drew closer to him.

"Probably." She agreed. "We're going." She defended before he could say a word once they came to stand in front of him.

Greagoir snorted at that. "I want everyone moved today. So it's going to be a tower wide effort to get it done." He nodded curtly. "I'm even rearranging the mage's quarters."

"Why?" She drew her brows deeply.

"Call it spring cleaning." He crossed his arms over his chest.

She nearly rolled her eyes. "I know what this is." She nodded and gave Cullen a knowing squeeze to his arm. "This is a hunt for contraband and to shake the tower up from its compliancy." She looked over at her Templar. "This is the fourth time in my life he's done this." She looked over at Greagoir and smiled admiringly at him. "Very effective and it does root them out." She then gave him a stern look. "Now how many nights have you been up in order to pull all this together?"

"That is not your concern." He narrowed his steely eyes upon her.

"It is when it's unhealthy." She nodded. "Now how many?"

"Just one." He answered with a curt nod. "Satisfied?"

"Yes and that means you'll be going to bed tonight; right?" She threatened then looked up at Cullen when he gave her a small nudge.

"You're doing it again." He nodded.

"Really?" She wrinkled her nose at him.

"Doing what?" Greagoir questioned as he stared between the two of them.

"Sir are you aware that most of the time when she speaks to you she's speaking to you in your head."

Greagoir waved a dismissive hand through the air. "Yes I know as does half the tower. It's been that way since she was little."

"I didn't know I did it." She nodded at him. "Why didn't you ever say?"

"I have." He grunted. "You little missy couldn't stop talking long enough to hear a word I said. Alright back to work the day isn't getting any longer and I have a lot of work to do. He ordered then turned on his heel for the exit.

"How many new guards are we going to get?" She questioned as she pulled her hood back up over her head.

"As many to replace the ones I get rid of." He answered as he walked through the door.

Zaniah sighed. "Well can you give them all the rules so I don't have to explain to everyone of them what rules apply to me and don't." She jerked her head towards the guard standing by the door though he couldn't see her do so from behind him.

"No. I will explain the rules once everything and everyone is situated so I don't have to keep repeating myself over and over again." He stopped at the stairs leading up to the second floor and looked at the duo. "If any issues arise that you can't get past you have a senior Templar on hand."

"A month here does not make him senior." She argued.

"It's a month more than the new guards will have giving him senior status." He nodded. "Now back to work and no more dallying until everything is done." He ordered using his Knight Commander voice.

"Yes sir." She bowed her head at him.

"Sir." Cullen followed.

"Good." He nodded curtly at the two then continued on down the hall to begin getting the apprentice quarters in order.

Cullen sighed deeply and looked at his charge deciding he quite liked her holding onto him as she had been since they left the common room. He wished he didn't have his under shirt on so it was skin to skin contact to feel those cool fingers on his flesh again. For the last month they had been together practically constantly except when they felt the need for a break. Yet their breaks from the first day to now were fewer and fewer.

Though he had to wonder what she thought of their situation. Did she sometimes wish he wasn't her guard; wish that she had more of her own time without him around? Or did she enjoy his company? He was sure the later was the case being she was talking to him and not hiding within her cloak as much.

"So I wonder," he started testing to see what she thought of him thus far. "if I'll be reduced to a door guard once Greagoir decides I'm done taking you as my charge." He led her up the steps to the next floor.

"What?" She looked up at him and gripped his arm tightly.

"What?" He questioned back and brought them to a stop in the middle of the hallway. "Surely I'm not going to be your personal guard for forever."

"Why not?" She pushed her hood back far enough for him to see her face. "Father assigned you as my guard so you're MY guard." She nodded. "I'll decide when you're done being my guard."

He arched a brow at that. "Your guard? Well," he placed his free hand to his heart. "I had no idea you cared so much."

"It's not like that." She quickly looked down at the floor. "It's just…" She trailed off and wrinkled her nose at herself.

He flexed his bicep causing her to grip his arm tighter. He was going to have to rethink the uniform situation. Maybe he could get away with cutting the sleeves off his undershirt just for the skin to skin contact if this was how it was going to be.

"It's just what?" He started walking pulling her along with him.

"I don't know." She whispered. "I guess you're the only guard given to me that didn't act like I was a burden." She nodded and frowned.

"Firstly you are far from being a burden." He stopped them in front of her room, grabbed her by the chin, and forced her to look up at him. "Secondly I wouldn't consider myself a thing that was given to you."

"I didn't say thing," she argued. "I said guard."

"Either way you make it sound like you own me." He narrowed his eyes slightly. "I am Templar Cullen personal guard to idle minded Zaniah."

She scowled at that. "I'm not idle minded." She growled and jerked her face from his grasp. "You sound like father." She huffed then stormed into her room to gather up more things to take to her new room.

He grinned to himself quite liking the woman she was turning out to be outside her silent bubble.


	3. Chapter 3

"I forbid it!" Greagoir nearly bellowed at the three women standing in front of his desk. "The Grand Cleric has decided on this issue and the order will stand no matter what the Revered Mother has to say." He narrowed his eyes deeply upon them. "If she has issue with it she can take it up with the Grand Cleric."

"We are not here to try the rite a again." One of the elderly women answered. "She has been ordered to be Harrowed."

"And the mere fact that it hasn't worked the last two times bares no consequence in this how?" Greagoir demanded.

"She has powers therefore she must be a mage." The woman nodded.

"If that was true she would have either been Harrowed already or turned Tranquil." He quickly pointed out. "Neither of which happened therefore she can't possibly be a mage."

"So then Knight Commander what is she if not a mage?" The woman countered. "Only mages have such powers."

"Such powers?" He questioned disgustedly. "And what powers does she have? She can't summon fire from her fingertips, make it rain on command, bring forth lightening at will. So please tell me what powers exactly do you think she has?"

"She can share her memories." She answered simply.

Greagoir didn't know if he wanted to punch the woman or laugh at her stupidity more. "And?" He questioned causing the woman to just stare blankly at him. "That's the only power you can say for certain she has giving no excuse to Harrow her again. Plus I've already petitioned the Grand Cleric to dismiss the allegations that she is a mage therefore until a decision is made you have no authority over her."

"We have received no word of such a thing."

"Well that is an issue you'll have to take up with the Revered Mother." He pointed out nearly in a huff. "I sent copies of my petitions to her and if she chose to ignore them then fault lays on her shoulders not mine."

"Petitions?" She questioned.

"Yes petitions." He glowered. "One petition to stop this madness with the Chantry, one petition to show she's my child, and one to show she's heir to the Amell estate. Until all petitions are cleared by the Viscount in Kirkwall and the Grand Cleric the Chantry has no authority over her. Now I have much to do and no more time to discuss this." He waved a hand at Bran who was standing by the door. "Show them to the guest quarters and they are not allowed to venture beyond the second floor."

"Sir." Bran bowed.

"This is not over." The woman argued.

"For now it is." Greagoir answered. "Oh and to prevent any unneeded issues let Zaniah know she's restricted to the third and fourth floors until our guests are on their way home. Also inform Cullen that he is not to leave her side until otherwise informed."

"Yes sir." Bran bowed again.

xx

Zaniah gripped Cullen's arm tightly as they watched the Chantry's delegates walk down the hall towards them with Bran in the lead. "No." She gasped and moved to stand behind him.

"What are they doing here?" Cullen wondered out loud and had the answer made very clear when Zaniah tried to press herself into his back.

"They're here for me." She whispered from behind him gripping his amour tightly.

"Ah," Bran brought the group to a halt in front of the duo. "Zaniah you have been restricted to the top two floors by order of the Knight Commander."

She peeked around Cullen to stare up at him. "Are they…"

"No." He gave a curt nod cutting her off. "I shall fetch you when you are allowed to come down." He then stared at Cullen. "Cullen you have been ordered to keep your charge at your side and are under no circumstances to let her out of your sight."

"Yes sir." He gave a bow causing Bran to nod back and continue on with his party towards the stairs leading to the second floor. He began trying to walk while having Zaniah plastered to his back following several steps behind the party.

What seemed to be several awkward hours which was only a lot of long minutes later he managed to get to the third floor with Zaniah attached firmly to his back. "I can assure you they're not going to do anything to you." He tried for the seventh time since parting company with Bran.

"You don't know that." She argued weakly.

"Well why else restrict you to the top two floors and insist I keep you in my sights at all times?"

"So I don't run away." She followed him to the third floor library.

"Oh, and where would you run?" He grabbed her by the arm and pulled her around to face him.

"I can hide." She nodded up at him. "It's a big tower."

"But not so big you can't be found." He pointed out.

She scowled at him. "That doesn't mean I can't try."

He sighed deeply and gave a small shake of his head. "They're not coming after you and if they are I'll let you run me through with my own sword."

She wrinkled her nose and scowled at that. "I would never."

"Good to know." He smiled at her. "Now since we're restricted to the top two floors for I'm guessing at least the next day or two; what should we do to kill time?"

She sighed deeply as she stared up at him. "I finish drawing you and you could watch me."

He shrugged. "That'll have to do then." He held his arm out to her. "Let's go get your stuff and find somewhere comfortable for us to sit."

She grabbed his arm and started leading him towards her bedroom. "We can sit in my room or use father's sitting area."

"You're room will be fine." He nodded. "I always feel awkward when using Greagoir's space."

"He doesn't care." She stared up at him.

"I know but it just feels wrong." He sighed. "Either your room or the library." He led her into her bedroom.

"Fine." She let go of him and watched as he took up his normal seat in the chair against the wall. "You know you sit there so much it's almost like you're part of my room."

He smirked at that. "Well there's no where else to sit and I don't exactly fancy sitting on the floor in this amour."

"I suppose." She moved to sit in front of him placing herself on the floor at his feet.

"Tell me why do you always sit there on the floor in front of me like that?"

She shrugged. "Because there's no other chairs to sit on."

"We could get you another one you know or I could stand I am a guard after all." He shook his head. "Standing is part of the job."

"No this is fine." She smiled up at him.

He eyed her carefully for a long moment. "So are you going to draw or just sit there staring at me?" He questioned a little self-conscious at the way she was staring at him. Then again why was he feeling this way anyway? This is how it was every time they stayed in her room; him sitting on the chair and her at his feet either drawing or staring up at him. He almost felt like she was looking up at him like he was some great king or God or something.

She tilted her head slightly and smiled up at him. "Actually I was thinking that I might show you my other power if you can handle being touched."

"I can handle being touched." He nodded curtly. "It's more about where you're touching me that's the problem."

"What's wrong with touching your leg?" She drew her brow deeply. "It's less inappropriate than holding hands."

"It is not." He argued.

"It is." She easily countered, took her slippers off, and scooted closer so her feet were under his robe between his feet.

"What do you think you are doing?" He jerked his foot back when she began working the buckles on his right boot.

"Taking your boot off nothing offensive about that." She huffed and grabbed his foot again. "You are the most uptight person I've ever met and considering who my father is that's saying a lot." She pulled his boot off and set his foot down so it was touching her left foot. "There, nothing inappropriate about that." She looked up at him with a small scowl.

He looked down at her feet disappearing beneath his robe and shook his head. "It could look bad if someone came in and saw us like this." He blushed lightly when she rubbed her foot against his. "This is obscene." He whispered when she did it again causing him to blush a deeper shade of red.

"It is not." She grinned at him. "Now all you have to do is just sit there and I'll take care of the rest."

"What are you going to do?" He stared at her with brows furrowed.

She smiled up at him. "Look around."

He drew his brows deeply as he stared at her before doing as he was told. "How… how did you do this?" He looked around the little clearing of grass by the lake. "Is," he looked back at her eyes wide. "is this real?"

"Sort of." She smiled and walked to the edge of the lake and stared up at the tower. "This is a real place. Father would bring me here when I little and first stopped talking." She turned back to face him. "We are here in a sense but not here in another sense." She waved her hand around. "I've brought your conscious here and left the rest of us back in the tower."

"My conscious?" He drew his brows deeply.

"The part of you that's the most aware." She walked over to him and grabbed his hand. "You see there's two parts to your conscious the waking part you're aware of and the other part you aren't. It's the waking part of you that's here while your body and the deeper part of your mind is still in the tower." She trailed her finger along the lines of his palm. "If you close your eyes you'll be able to sense my room and all things around you almost like a second sense."

He closed his eyes and could in fact barely sense the chair he was sitting in and Zaniah's foot touching his own.

"Plus," she continued causing him to open his eyes and stare at her. "what you see isn't only through my mind, parts are through yours as well."

He drew his brows at that as he moved his eyes from her face to her finger which was tracing random shapes within his palm. "I've never seen this place before so what," he moved his eyes back to hers. "would my mind bring with me?"

She smiled at that. "Well for one," she looked down at herself then back up at him. "I'm not wearing this white dress." She waved a hand down her body causing his eyes to follow. "Second my hair isn't this short." She then moved her hand up her hair which was hanging loose just past her bared shoulders.

As he stared at her he did in fact realize that she wasn't wearing that white dress but her black cloak with the purple mage's robe underneath. As the realization came to him he watched in stunned silence as her clothes suddenly became what he remembered her wearing. Which included her hair being pulled back and tucked beneath the fabric of her cloak.

She looked down at herself and frowned. "I liked that dress." She then looked back up at him. "Well I guess once you get used to this it'll be easier to keep focused."

"I don't understand." He shook his head. "Am I imaging this or are you?"

"We both are in a sense." She curled her fingers around his hand and held it firmly in her own. "Most of this is my imagination because it's my power and you brought parts of your imagination with you. I guess you could say to put it a little more simply is that this is my daydream and parts of your daydream have entered mine." She wrinkled her nose. "It's kind of hard to explain."

He still wasn't getting it and had more questions than answers. "Maybe we could start simple so I can try to understand this."

"Okay." She nodded.

"First what happened to your clothes?"

She smiled at that. "Well the dress I was wearing was a dress you at some point imagined or were imagining me wearing. So when I brought your conscious here that part of your imagination came with you and I was as you imagined me to be. Just as you," she waved her free hand at him. "are as I imagine you to be."

He drew his brows further and looked down at himself. "My amour," he looked back at her. "isn't this perfect or shiny or new."

"No but that's how I see you." She smiled shyly and looked away trying to hide the blush staining her cheeks. "Perfect in every way."

He found himself blushing as he too looked away and gripped her hand a little tighter. "I see." He muttered as it all came together and made a little more sense. When he finally felt he had himself under control he looked back at her and found her wearing the white dress again.

"Either you're getting this quicker than I thought or you really want to see me wearing this." She looked back at him and smiled. "So whose dress is this?" She questioned before he could respond. "I don't think you made this up in your head so someone had to wear it once."

He blushed again and shifted. "Well its well uh," he looked away trying to again compose himself. "I did make it up kind of." He whispered.

"Really?" She smiled when he looked back over at her. "Why?"

"It was uh… well…" He trailed off getting more uncomfortable by the second.

"Alright." She squeezed his hand. "You can tell me when you're more comfortable."

"Thank you." He sighed and looked around the area for a change of topic. "So what are those purple flowers?" He directed so he could pull himself together.

She looked at the flowers surrounding the area of vibrant purple with a blood red stigma. "I think they're called Saffron or that's what Bran says they are."

"Bran?" He looked back over at her.

She shrugged. "This is where I brought him when the Chantry tried to turn me tranquil." She frowned at the memories then quickly shook her head to get rid of them. "Anyway he told me they were his mother's favorite flower."

He looked from her to the flowers and drew his brows. "So are they real or a memory of yours that he shared with you?" He narrowed his eyes slightly upon the flowers.

"They're real." She smiled at the note of jealousy in his voice. "I think they're beautiful."

He looked over at her and smiled at the way she was staring at the flowers. "Yes they are."

"I wish I could come here for real." She sighed sadly and looked down at the ground. "It's been so long since I've left the tower that I wonder if this place still exists like this."

"Greagoir doesn't take you out of the tower anymore?" He suddenly wrinkled his nose at himself for asking such a stupid question. Of course he didn't take her outside anymore otherwise she wouldn't have said such a thing. "I mean…"

"No." She cut him off. "It was causing problems with the mages, they were saying it was unfair he was taking me outside but they were stuck in the tower." She frowned. "I can't say I blame them though. If I was in their shoes I'd probably say the same." She sighed sadly and looked up at him. "That's why most of the mages don't like me. Plus they know there's a chance that one day I could be free of the shackles that bind us all to the tower."

He scowled at that. "It's hardly your fault you're not like them."

"Envy is a powerful thing," she nodded. "they would all die to be given a chance at just the possibility to have their freedom."

"But you wouldn't leave even if you did have your freedom." He pointed out.

"They know that but its not the staying or the leaving, it's the freedom to come and go as I wish." She sighed again, released his hand, and walked to the edge of the bank to stare up at the tower. "Though even if I was given the chance to come and go I doubt I would."

"Why?" He questioned as he walked up to stand behind her.

"I've been imprinted that way." She shrugged. "Father can come and go as he pleases but he never does unless it's absolutely necessary for him to leave. That's how I was raised. Everything I could ever want or need is in the tower and if not it's not that hard to get it."

He stared at her back for a moment before he placed his suddenly gauntlet free hands on her bared shoulders and gently massaged them. "What about finding someone to love, marriage, kids?"

"As long as the title of mage hangs over my head those things are idle fancies that can never be." She frowned sadly.

He slid his hands down over the sleeves hanging just off her shoulders, down her arms, to her hands where he laced his fingers with hers. "Do you want them?"

"What girl doesn't?" She drew her brows deeply as he pressed closer to her. "Do you?"

"I've thought about it from time to time." He caressed the palms of her hands with his thumbs. "I want it to be with the right person."

"So you intend to leave the tower eventually to find her?" She whispered and tightened her fingers aginst his.

"No." He leaned down and buried his nose in her hair just above her ear inhaling her scent. She always scented of fresh water or first snow or maybe it was moonbeams if they had a scent. "Maybe I'll find her in the tower." He moved down and placed a light kiss just under her ear.

"We can't." She jerked away from him in every way bringing them both back to her bedroom. "I'm…" She trailed off and frowned before she quickly shot to her feet and practically ran from her bedroom.

Cullen sat there stunned at what just happened. What did he do? Why did he do it? What he did was push too far too fast and now… now he might have blown it. He was going to have to apologize and do so over and over again until she forgave him.

xx

Zaniah sat on the edge of the window seal of the highest window in the Harrowing Chamber unsure of what to do. She liked Cullen more than she thought was possible to like someone which only could mean she was falling in love with him but…

But she was a prisoner in the tower and he was her guard there was no future for them no matter how much either of them wanted it. He was a good man and he deserved someone that would be able to be free and free to love him as he deserved.

She couldn't and wouldn't hold him back from finding his true happiness. She wasn't that selfish even if deep down she wanted to keep him for herself. No she would set him free to find his happiness and the best way to do that would be to no longer need a personal guard.

xx

Greagoir looked up when his office door quietly opened and in slipped a cloaked covered figure. "Zaniah," he narrowed his eyes slightly as she shut the door just as quietly behind her. "what are you doing here? Did I not restrict you to the top two floors? And where is your guard? I specifically said he was to keep you in his sights at all times."

She moved to stand in front of his desk with head bowed. "He's looking for me." She answered quietly.

Greagoir stared at her not liking this at all it was too reminiscent of withdrawing into herself again. "What happened? Did he do something to you?!" He demanded as he got to his feet feeling his rage beginning to build.

"Never." She looked up and shook her hood covered head. "He's a good man and would never do anything to hurt me."

"Alright then why are you in here breaking my orders?" He crossed his arms over his chest.

She sighed and looked back down at the floor. "Father I want you to let Cullen go."

He wasn't expecting that and his face clearly showed his shock. "Why? What is this about?"

She chewed her lip before she pushed her hood off and stared at him. "He deserves more than what this tower can give him." She nodded. "He deserves happiness."

And there it was right there in front of him as clear as day. "You love him." He said mostly to himself.

"Not yet but I will. That's why he needs to leave." She looked down and fiddled with the sleeve of her cloak. "I can't love him because we can never be. He deserves more than a dream, a wish."

"So am I to take it he's falling in love with you as well?"

"I think so." She whispered with a small nod. "But that doesn't matter I'm a prisoner under the Chantry, he is a child of the Chantry. So long as it holds the keys to my life there's no room for wants and dreams."

That made him feel really sick to his stomach because there was so much truth in her words it physically hurt. Yet to get rid of Cullen for that reason wasn't something he was willing to do, he was good for her. He had done more to heal her in the last month then he himself was able to do in the last ten years. "I think you should wait to make that decision until the Grand Cleric decides on your petition."

"But how long will that be?" She stared at him wide eyed. "It's been nearly a year now."

"These things take time." He pointed out. "Just give it a little while longer."

She pressed her lips together not wanting to give it another day longer but knew she had no choice. "I'll wait because I have no choice but what about…"

"No." He cut her off. "He will remain as your guard and I'll hear no arguments on this."

"But why?"

"Because he is exactly what you've needed your whole life and I will not take that away from you." He pointed out.

"But he deserves more," she frowned as she bit back the sting of tears. "better." She whispered as the tears broke free.

He moved around to the front of his desk to stand in front of her, grabbed her by the chin, and tilted her head up to look at him. "Not only is he good for you but I think that you're what he needs." He wiped the tears from her cheek. "Maybe it was fate that brought him here to you, maybe it was chance, but either way since his arrival this is the happiest I've seen you in a long long time."

She frowned even more as more tears fell from her eyes. "It's only going to hurt worse the longer you wait."

"Only if you push him away." He stared seriously at her. "Zaniah give it a chance, look for the good and let the bad go. Your life can't always be filled with pain and heartache." He sighed. "Please for me try to find happiness."

She hated it when he would do that. "That's not fair. You can't always use yourself as a bribe to get what you want."

He snorted at that. "When it comes to you I'll do whatever it takes to get my way." He nodded curtly. "Or if you prefer I'll pull rank on you."

"No." She scowled at him. "That's even worse."

"Then you'll try?"

She sighed deeply as she stared up at him. "Yes."

"Good." He planted a quick kiss on her brow. "Now," he rose back up and released his hold on her chin. "you have two options either sit in your corner or go find Cullen and stay upstairs."

She looked to her corner and shook her head. "My drawing stuff isn't here." She wiped her eyes dry with her sleeve.

"So off you go then." He nodded and moved back around it his chair and sat down. "I have a lot of work to do and I can afford no more interruptions."

"You'll never get it done; so why try?" She looked back over at him.

"Because that's my job." He nodded curtly at her. "Now off with you." He waved his hand towards the door.

"I'm going." She scowled and made for the door.

"Oh and one more thing," he brought her to a halt with the door open. "no sex." He ordered without looking up at her.

"Father!" She gasped completely scandalized by his bluntness.

He looked up and narrowed his eyes deeply. "I mean it Zaniah."

"I wasn't and I can't believe you would say it." Her eyes widened hugely.

"Yes well you be sure you don't." He nodded curtly then went back to work trying to thin out the papers on his desk. "Now back upstairs and I better not see you down here again until I say otherwise."

"Yes sir." She bowed her head and left his office. Just as she had the door closed a figure appeared before her looming almost menacingly. "Bran." She nodded.

"How do you always know it's me?" He questioned his voice almost echoing within his helmet.

"Because you're the only one that ever hovers over me like that." She nodded up at him.

"Like what?"

"Like you're some big scary monster." She glared at him.

"Humph." He grunted. "Well anyway did I not tell you you weren't allowed to come down here?"

"Yes, yes, yes." She scowled. "I already heard it from father I don't need to hear it from you too."

"Clearly you do," he nodded. "otherwise you wouldn't be breaking the rules right now." He grabbed her by the shoulder and gave her a small push towards the stairs.

"Hey! I said I was going."

"And where is your guard? I am in no mood to deal with the Chantry again today."

"I don't know where he is." She scowled at his pushiness. "I'm not his keeper."

"No but he is yours." He easily countered. "So until he can be located you will go to your room and put some shoes on before you get sick."

"Again you're not my dad." She bit out and stormed up the stairs.

"A good thing to." He answered from the bottom as he stared up at her. "If you were mine you'd be on restriction for the whole of your life."

"Well it's a good thing you don't have kids then." She glowered him. "They'd probably put a knife in your back."

"That's why I'm always watching mine when you're around." He grunted then walked off.

She wrinkled her nose then stuck her tongue out at his retreating form. Satisfied with her insult she turned and headed for her room she had to think about this situation with Cullen before she made a decision.

xx

"Why would you want to talk to me?" Dylan questioned with brows drawn.

Cullen sighed deeply. "Because other than Greagoir you're the only other person who knows her."

"Not really, Carroll knows her just as well and Bran." He nodded. "Besides wouldn't it be easier to keep it within the brotherhood of… well you know." He scowled.

"This isn't about mages and Templars," he argued. "I just want to know what makes her truly happy."

"How would I know?" He shrugged. "For that matter I don't think anyone knows the answer to that. I mean the people she keeps close makes her happy and drawing makes her happy but other than that I don't know." He shook his head then stared with eyes slightly narrowed. "Besides why do you care?"

He flushed lightly as he stared at him then looked across the room at the mages practicing their spells to press down his embarrassment.

"Well." Dylan smirked. "You could have just said you liked her in the first place." He suddenly became serious. "I really hope this isn't just to use her or hurt her." He glared at him.

"No." He glared right back. "I just…" He trailed off and sighed. "I'm not going to do anything untoward to her and if I was I would have done it by now. The opportunities have been many as her personal guard."

"I suppose." He agreed. "Alright so what do you want then; to court her?" He questioned with an arched brow.

He sighed deeply fighting to keep his nerves under control. "Yes."

"Then shouldn't you be having this conversation with Greagoir?" He crossed his arms over his chest. "I don't exactly like the man but he does take really good care of her and she does call him father." He nodded. "So I would think you should be asking for his permission to court her not mine."

"I wasn't asking for permission." He sighed. "I was asking how should I court her."

"How would I know? I have enough problems with the women around here there's no way I would know how to deal with someone as complex as her."

"So what do you suggest?"

Dylan sighed deeply and shook his head. "I guess maybe start with what she loves to do." He shrugged. "Draw her something."

"I'm not an artist." He pointed out with a small scowl.

"So." He shrugged again. "It's not the drawing it's the thought and effort. Give it a shot I mean what's the worst that can happen?"

"I suppose." He agreed with a shake of his head. "I just know I'm going to look a fool after this is all over."

"Don't we all when it comes to love." Dylan snorted. "Well best of luck." He nodded at him then turned on his heel and walked away.

xx

_X-Two Weeks Later-X_

Zaniah walked the circle hall of the fourth floor over and over and over. She was restricted to the top floor because the Chantry was here again to swap out the guards at Greagoir's orders. So with no guards save for the ones he wanted to keep all seven of them were on duty to keep an eye on the mages while the guard was so thinned.

The only thing that was making this worse was her personal guard who wasn't ordered on duty because he was her personal guard was missing. Over the last two weeks Cullen had been very distant and constantly coming up missing. Though she didn't much blame him after the way she ran, she'd avoid herself too if she was in his shoes. Yet that didn't change the fact that she missed him even if keeping at arms distance was just what she wanted.

As she made her fifth pass around the hall she decided to again test the threshold of the forbidden and took one step down the stairs.

"For the last time don't even think about it."

She glared at the back of the uppity Templar standing at the bottom. "I'm bored." She nearly whined.

"So am I but you don't see me sneaking off from my duties." He nodded curtly.

"It's not my duty to be restricted up here by myself." She argued.

Bran turned just enough to stare at her from the corner of his eye. "Where is your guard?"

She narrowed her eyes slightly. "Well if I knew that I wouldn't be up here by myself; now would I?" She huffed. "He's been like this for the last two weeks," she frowned. "maybe he doesn't want to be my guard anymore."

Bran sighed deeply. "Well he hasn't made any requests to change his assignment or to be relocated."

"How do you know that?" She took another step down the stairs causing him to turn more to face her and narrow his eyes a little further.

"Because there is a schedule and we all have access to it." He pointed out and glared when she tested him further by taking another step down the stairs. "I see what you're doing and you'll only get this one last warning."

"Come on." She whined. "Can't I go sit in father's office and draw instead of being stuck up here by myself?"

"No."

"The gardens?"

"No."

"Can I go eat?"

"No."

Her eyes widened. "Why not? It's nearly lunch time anyway."

"Nearly is not time you will wait."

She stuck her bottom lip out and made the most pathetic face she could manage at him. "Please?"

"You know that sappy stuff doesn't work on me." He crossed his arms over his chest and pinned her down with an authoritive glare. "So no."

"Why are you such a stick in the mud?" She scowled. "You know you don't have to follow EVERY rule."

"Nor do I but when it comes to the rules pertaining to you they must be followed."

"I know what this is." She glowered at him. "And I'm telling," she nodded curtly. "everyone."

"You do that." He snorted. "I'm certain that no matter what you say my reputation will remain in tact."

He was right and she knew it. Who in their right mind would believe that ser Bran, mister cynical extraordinaire had a soft spot for babies, puppies, and above all else kittens?

She sighed deeply and plopped down on the step, set her elbow on her knee, and rested her chin in her palm. "Well can you at least go find my guard? I mean if I had someone up here with me I'd be less likely to be bothering you." She then narrowed her eyes upon him. "You do know if I really wanted I could get past you."

"And the next time I saw you you'd be in for it." He easily countered.

"Then please go tell Cullen he's slacking his duties and I'll leave you alone." She stuck her bottom lip out in another pout. "And I swear on father's amour I'll go sit in my room until you come back."

He watched as she made again made the most pathetic face she could manage and cringed slightly. He cringed because it was that face that made him give in so damn easily every time. "Very well." He didn't even try to fight it fighting it once was easy fighting it twice was losing battle. "Go to your room and I'll send your guard to you." He was rewarded with a beaming smile that had him sighing in defeat.

"You're the best."

He snorted at that. "Only when I let you have your way." He growled. "Now go to your room and I'll send him along."

"You're the greatest Templar ever." She beamed at him.

"Save your flattery for someone else girl."

"Why don't you love me?" She scowled at him.

"I see, flattery isn't working so we're going to try and guilt me." He snorted. "You know that doesn't work either."

"You can't blame a girl for trying." She smiled at him.

He narrowed his eyes upon her. "Believe me little girl I can blame you for a lot of things least of all is for your lack of _trying_."

"Fine." She sighed. "You win now will you go find my guard; please?"

"Go to your room and he'll be up shortly." He nodded.

"Thank you." She smiled, stood up, and went back up the steps.


	4. Chapter 4

"Why?"

Cullen's fingers twitched lightly at his sides. "It's not intentional." He nodded determinedly.

"Avoidance is always intentional." She nodded back at him. "Do you no longer wish to be my guard?" She questioned in all seriousness. "If so I will have father find me another or do without."

His eyes widened. "No," he shook his head. "I want to be your guard it's… just… well…" He trailed off and fidgeted.

"It's just what?" She moved to stand directly in front of him, reached up, placed her hands on his face, and made him look at her. "What?"

"I can't tell you yet."

She drew her brows deeply at that. "Tell me what? What is going on?"

He sighed deeply. "Just trust me." He nodded against the hold she had on his face. "I need just a few more hours." He fidgeted and flushed lightly.

"For what?"

"Like I said, I can't tell you. I just need a little more time." He pleaded.

"Alright." She smiled up at him. "I won't press." She released her hold upon him. "Go do what ever it is you have to do and I'll be here." She waved her hand around her room.

"Well it can wait until later if you want some company now."

"That would be nice especially since Bran won't let me go past the third step of the stairs." She sighed deeply. "I'm so bored being stuck up here by myself. I can't wait until all the guards are changed out and I can get my life back."

"Alright then what do you want to do until lunch time?"

She cringed up at him. "Well I'm restricted to this floor so what can we do besides either sit here in my room or walk the hall?"

"Well," he looked around her room. "you can sit and draw and I'll watch you."

"Oh that reminds me." She walked over to her desk and began going through her drawings until she found the one she was looking for. "Here it is." She pulled out the one she did of him and held it out to him. "I finished it yesterday afternoon."

Cullen took the picture from her and stared at it. "This is really good." He looked up at her and smiled. "It's a perfect likeness."

She smiled shyly and looked down at her feet. "Thank you."

"I'll hang it up in my room," he smirked at her. "next to the ones you did of Bran and Carroll."

She looked up at him. "I only draw pictures of people who are important to me."

"I'm important to you?" He arched a brow at her.

"Well of course," she whispered and looked back down at her feet. "you've been nicer to me than most and you make me smile even when I don't want to. Though lately…" She trailed off and scowled at him.

He fidgeted under her glare. "I swear it's not entirely intentional."

"But it is intentional." She pointed out then shook her head realizing they were going back around in a circle. "How about an early lunch then we can come back up here and _go_ somewhere?"

"We can do that." He nodded and held his arm out to her. "So where are you thinking of going this time?"

She shrugged as she curled her finger around his bicep. "I don't know maybe we can go somewhere you remember."

"You can do that?" He led her out of her room towards the stairs.

"Yes but it has to be somewhere you remember that's real and not made up." She looked up at him and nodded. "Places that aren't real are hard to keep stable because they can change so easily. Now somewhere you remember is easy because it is as you remember it and it never changes." She smiled up at him brining them to a stop at the top of the steps. "Do you have any idea where you want to go?"

"Well I haven't really been anywhere except for Denerim, the Chantry, and here." He sighed and began leading her down the steps. "I'll have to try and remember the few places I've been in my life."

"And where do you think you are going?"

"Not this again." She glowered at the Templar. "Look I have my guard so…"

"So what?" Bran narrowed his eyes upon her. "You are not authorized to leave the floor."

"It's lunch time." She argued. "We are going to go eat lunch."

"It is not lunch time." He pointed out.

"It is," she argued back. "and I'm eating on my schedule not yours." She huffed. "Why do you always have to be like this? Some monster isn't going to appear out of nowhere and devour me especially when I have a guard at my side." She jerked her head towards Cullen. "Just let me go eat lunch!"

"You better watch it girl." He glowered at her tone.

She opened her mouth to respond to that then closed it and smirked. "Oh I see what this is." She shook her head. "I should have know especially with how moody you've been lately." She patted his armored chest with her free hand. "Since my Templar here," she gave Cullen's arm a little squeeze and jerked her head towards him. "has something to do later I'll play cards with you."

Bran snorted at that, crossed his arms over his chest, and turned his back towards her. "Have a good lunch."

"Thank you." She smiled at his back and looked up at Cullen. "Shall we?"

Cullen began walking and gave a cursory glance back at Bran. "What was that about?"

"Oh he's just being a baby because I don't spend as much time with him as I used to." She shrugged. "So I guess instead of spending all my time with you I'll have to half it out to him."

He scowled at that. "Half my time?"

"Well you're gone so much lately what would it matter?" She looked up at him with eyes narrowed slightly. "I might even be able to split more of your time up between Bran, Carroll, Dylan, and father." She pressed her lips together thoughtfully. "Maybe your time with me can be in the morning, Bran mid morning to early afternoon, Carroll during the afternoon, Dylan after his classes, and father would get the evenings."

"No." He growled.

"No? Why not? You're not around much anymore so what's the big deal?"

"I'm your guard you even said so yourself." He nodded curtly at her.

She narrowed her eyes even further upon him. "In order to be my guard you have to actually be guarding me and over the last two weeks you have been severely lacking in your duties."

"I told you I needed some time." He argued. "And you agreed."

"Time as in a day or two," she stopped walking bringing him to a halt with her, moved around to stand in front of him, and pointed a sharp finger in his face. "not two weeks."

He grabbed the finger pointing in his face and leaned down so they were eye to eye. "There were no specific times given therefore some time could be from a minute or two to a day, weeks, or even months."

"Then you need a better sense of time." She nodded curtly. "Some time means a little time not half a month."

"There is no rule saying how long _some time_ really is." He pointed out.

"No, there is." She tried to jerk her finger free of his hold and only succeeded in causing him to hold it tighter. "A **long** time is two weeks, a little time is no more than a day max, and a little while is a mere hour or two."

"Says who?"

"Says me." She glowered at him.

He smirked down at her. "Oh; and who made you the utmost authority of time?"

"Me; as MY guard you run by MY table of time." She poked herself in the chest with her free hand.

"I do not." He shook his head. "I run by Templar time like all Templars do."

"But your not an ordinary Templar." She pointed out. "You belong to me."

"For the last time I'm not a _thing_ you own." He glowered at her.

She grinned up at that. "Not a thing a man and a very han…" She trailed off and looked down at the floor. "Um never mind let's just go eat." She tried to pull free of his grasp only to have him tighten his hold.

He used his free hand to grab her by the chin and force her to look up at him. "Very what?"

"Nothing." She tried to shake her head free of his hold.

"Nothing." He snorted and released his hold upon her. "Well I think the same of you."

"You think I'm handsome?" She wrinkled her nose. "Girls aren't handsome."

"Ah so you think I'm handsome." He grinned wickedly at her.

"Well… I…" She looked down at her feet and blushed. "Yes." She whispered then reached up to pull her hood up to cover her blushing face.

"No." He caught her by the hand to stop her. "No more hiding." He ordered forcing her to look up at him. "I will not allow you to hide any longer." He stared seriously at her. "And I would prefer it if you got rid of all your cloaks."

"Why?"

He again grabbed her by the chin and gently rubbed her bottom lip with his thumb. "Because I want to see you all the time; you're beautiful."

"Beautiful?" She whispered as she stared up in to his warm hazels.

"Very." He whispered back and began to lean in a little closer.

"And what are you two doing?"

Zaniah quickly jerked away and looked over at Dylan. "Nothing." She blushed.

"Yea right." He snorted. "You two should go find a dark corner and keep doing _nothing_ where no one can see you."

Zaniah glowered at him. "At least I don't have to bribe him unlike you who has to bribe every girl in the tower just to acknowledge you."

"Ouch." He put his hand to his heart. "That's a low blow."

"You'll be alright." She smiled at him and began walking towards the dining hall after grabbing Cullen by the arm. "So I hear you're Harrowing is coming up; are you ready?"

"Of course." He nodded as he fell into step next to her. "I've been ready for months now."

"Well I hope you pass." She nodded at him. "It'd break my heart if you didn't and you were…" She trailed off not wanting to finish that sentiment.

"Ah sis don't worry about me. I'll pass just to see the look of disappointment on Greagoir's face that he didn't get to strike me down."

"He doesn't want to strike you down." She huffed. "He just wants you to stop causing trouble."

"I don't cause trouble." He argued. "I just keep him on his toes."

"Well stop it," she scowled. "it makes him cranky and it's not healthy."

He sighed deeply. "I just don't see why you love him so much. He's old and cranky and old."

"He is not." She narrowed her eyes upon him. "He's a good man just a little high strung but that's only because he has to keep this whole tower and everyone in it in check."

"You sound like him more and more everyday." He cringed and came to a stop at the dining room door. "Well you two have fun I have to get back to class."

"Which ends in five minutes." She snorted. "You know you're going to be organizing the library books for the rest of the week for skipping class again."

"I'm sick of going to classes everyday." He grunted. "I mean really how much do I need to learn especially when I'm going to be locked up in this tower for the rest of my life?"

"I guess." She nodded. "But even still you shouldn't skip your classes it sets a bad example to the younger mages."

"Yes Greagoir." He snorted. "I'll see you later."

Zaniah watched him go and shook her head. "He's up to no good; just watch."

"I don't doubt it." Cullen snorted. "I've heard the stories of the trouble he's caused and I'm just glad I wasn't here for the fireball incident."

"Well count yourself lucky." She led him into the dining room. "I thought for sure father was going to have him drawn and quartered." She nodded up at him. "Actually he probably would have if Irving didn't put a stop to it." She suddenly grinned. "You know father is still trying to get the burn marks off the wall in his room."

Cullen shook his head. "He has to be the luckiest mage on this side of Thedas."

"I agree." She sat down at their favorite table.

"I guess I'm getting lunch." He arched a brow as he stared down at her.

"Yes, it's the least you can do for abandoning me all this time." She nodded curtly at him.

His eyes narrowed slightly. "You're going to be real sorry when you find out why and I'll expect breakfast in bed for a month."

"Then tell my why." She ordered. "Tell me so I won't be sorry."

"Nope." He smirked. "You'll just have to be a patient little girl and wait." He nodded then turned to go and collect their plates of food.

"Don't call me that." She growled at his retreating form. "I'm not a little girl." She huffed though saying it like that certainly made her sound like one.

xx

"Here this is for you." Cullen blushed as he handed her the rolled up piece of paper.

Zaniah drew her brows as she took it from him. "What is it?"

"It's something I made for you." He shifted nervously.

She smiled at him then began unrolling the paper. "It's," she started once she had it completely unfurled. "beautiful."

"I I know it's not uh very good but uh," he shifted and stared down at the floor. "I mean not uh good like yours or…"

"No it's wonderful." She cut him off and smiled up at him. "Art isn't about how good the picture is it's about what you see in it." She walked over to the board on her wall that had a several of her own drawings pinned to it and pinned his picture up over one of her own.

"What do you see?" He questioned as he moved to stand behind her.

"I see the beauty of life and death." She looked over her shoulder at him.

He drew his brows deeply and stared at his picture. "How do you see life and death in that? It's just a picture of a tree."

"True," she agreed. "but you see your picture shows a tree with acorns hanging from the branches, half of the leaves are on the ground along with fallen acorns. The tree drops its acorns to sprout new life."

He eyed his, in his opinion pathetic drawing and drew his brows. "That's not what I was thinking when I drew it. I was just going for an autumn tree."

"Why an autumn tree?" She tilted her head slightly.

"Because you kind of remind me of one." He shifted and kept his gaze locked on his picture. "A summer tree," he started knowing she was going to want him to explain. "you only see the trunk and the leaves. A winter tree is death nothing but branches with no life to be seen."

"I see." She smiled at him finally getting him to look at her. "Spring is new life but autumn is the shedding of the cover that hides the power of the tree beneath."

He slowly nodded at her. "Like you." He blushed again. "You were the summer tree when I met you and now you're the autumn tree showing the real you beneath the cover of your cloak."

It was a rather corny sentiment but she loved it all the same. "I… thank you." She blushed and looked down at the floor as she fidgeted with the sleeve of her cloak. "That's the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me."

"R really?"

She nodded up at him. "Yes." She smiled then stepped up to him and placed a light kiss on his cheek. "Thank you again; I love it."

"Oh," he blushed as his eyes widened. "I uh… I mean your your welcome." He smiled shyly at her.

"Is this what you've been doing all this time?" She questioned suspiciously.

He fidgeted nervously. "Yes." He looked down at the floor. "I wanted it to be a surprise that's why I haven't been around much over the last couple of weeks."

"Well then I guess you're excused from slacking on your duties as my guard." She patted him on the chest. "So does this mean all your time is once again mine?"

"Well not all." He smiled at her. "I do need my personal time."

She drew her brows at that. "So what exactly do you do during this personal time of yours?"

He eyed her carefully. "That's none of your business that's why it's called personal time. Unless you want to tell me what you do during yours."

She shrugged at that. "Fantasize about you naked."

"What?!" He gasped wide eyed at her as all the color drained from his face.

"I'm kidding." She grinned at him. "Though," she tapped her chin thoughtfully. "I have thought about you without your armor a few times and shirtless a lot of times."

"Zaniah!" He gasped completely scandalized.

"What?" She stared innocently up at him. "I can imagine anything I want and I quite like imaging what's under all that metal. It's my personal time after all and what I do with it is my business."

"Not when it's me you're thinking about."

She drew her brows as she stared up at him. "What?"

"I mean," he shifted. "you shouldn't be telling me this."

"Why not?"

He blushed a deeper shade of red. "Because it's… it's not uh… proper."

She drew her brows even deeper. "Why? You don't know when I'm doing it and it has no affect on you so what's the big deal?" She eyed him critically. "Tell me you've never thought about me in any improper ways."

"I…" He started then shifted nervously unable to make eye contact with her.

"I knew it." She grinned hugely at him.

"I never." He defended.

She smirked evilly at him. "Never what? Never thought of me naked?" She pointed knowingly at him. "If you say no I'm going to have to call you a liar."

He blushed a deeper shade of red and found the toe of his boot to be rather interesting all of a sudden. "Well not completely." He admitted just above a whisper.

She suddenly wanted to see just how unhinged she could get him before he turned tail and ran. "Well do you want to see?" She questioned seriously.

"What?!" He snapped his head up and stared wide eyed at her.

"Naked," she nodded. "do you want to see me naked?"

"I…" He trailed off and shifted. "I mean…"

"Alright." She shrugged and pulled the ties holding her cloak closed. "Shut the door." She jerked her head towards the door as she slipped the cloak off her shoulders.

If possible his eyes widened even further. "What in Maker's name are you doing?!" He gasped when she began working the clasps of her mage's robe.

"You want to see me naked so," she shrugged. "I'm going to let you see." She looked up at his stricken face. "Now if you would be so kind as to shut the door so no one else can see I'd appreciate it." She let the top half of her robe fall open.

Cullen was on her instantly grabbing her cloak and covering her with it the second her breasts were bared to him. "Zaniah this is highly inappropriate!" He panicked.

"What?" She questioned slightly irritated. "There's nothing wrong with seeing a human body the way it was brought into this world." She argued.

"Indecent." He whispered harshly.

She looked up at him slightly annoyed. "The naked body is not indecent." She pulled away from him and pulled her cloak back off. "It's beautiful." She smiled at him and let her robe fall from her form and pool at her feet. She didn't have an issue with baring her body for anyone to see. In a tower this size with this many people nudity was almost a constant. "See." She waved her hand down her naked form.

Cullen stared wide eyed for a moment before covering them with his hand. "For Maker's sake put your clothes back on!"

She crossed her arms over her chest and eyed him critically. "Have you never seen a naked woman before?"

"No!" He turned his back to her. "You're never to look upon a woman's naked body unless it's your wife." He repeated what the sisters at the Chantry had told him time and time again.

"Really?" She walked over to him. "Well what do they know? They're not allowed relations anyway." She grabbed his hand only to have him jerk it away.

"You know what; I think," he quickly made his way to the door. "Greagoir wanted to talk to me about something. Um… I'll see you later." He quickly made his exit shutting the door behind him.

She giggled at the closed door then gathered her robe back up and got dressed with every intention of doing that again.

xx

_X-A Week Later-X_

Zaniah paced at the bottom of the steps to the Harrowing Chamber fidgeting with the sleeves of her cloak. Dylan was up there going through his Harrowing and of all the people in the tower, Greagoir picked Cullen to strike him down should he fail. Apparently she was being punished but for what she couldn't say.

"Stop it. That's annoying." Carroll nodded at her as he picked at piece of loose concrete on the wall.

"You stop that." She argued back. "Father's going to have your hide when he finds out you're the one picking the concrete off the walls."

Carroll shrugged dismissively. "Maybe when he sees all the holes in the walls he'll finally get them fixed."

"Or the tower will come crumbling down on all our heads and it'll be your fault." She pointed at him.

He shrugged again dismissing the conversation and started chanting a child's tune he heard the younger kids singing earlier that morning. "Kissing on a mountain, kissing by a stream, Zaniah and Cullen kissing in their…"

"What?!" She cut him off with a gasp and eyes wide.

"What?" He looked over at her. "Just singing to myself." He grinned evilly at her.

She glared at him. "Where did you hear that? Are you making it up cause if you are I'll poison your candy."

"I didn't make it up." He chipped another piece of concrete off the wall. "I heard the kids downstairs singing it earlier this morning when they were playing."

"No they weren't." She pointed a sharp finger at him. "You're making it up just to annoy me."

"Am not." He argued.

"Are too."

"Am not." He flung the small piece of concrete he picked off the wall at her and hit her in the forehead.

"Hey!" She glared deadly at him slapping her hand to her brow.

"So how many times have you kissed him?" He grinned at her.

"I've never kissed him." She defended.

He eyed the small blush tinting her cheeks. "Yea right then why is everyone saying you two are attached by the lips all the time?"

"What? We are not." She glared at him.

"Riiight then why are you blushing like that."

"I'm not blushing!"

"Yes you are."

"No I'm not!"

"Are, I can see your face."

"No. I'm. Not."

"Are."

"Enough." Greagoir ordered from the top of the stairs.

Zaniah spun to look up at him worry etching her brow. "Did… did he pass?"

"Yes." He nodded with a barely noticeable cringe marring his features as he walked down the steps towards her.

She sighed in relief only to gasp at seeing Dylan being carried down by two of the newest Templars brought into the tower. "Dylan!"

Greagoir placed a hand on her shoulder. "He's fine; he just passed out."

"It's the fastest Harrowing I've ever seen." Irving said as he walked down the steps with Cullen behind him. "Going in and out of the Fade that quickly drained him." He pointed out all knowingly.

Zaniah sighed in relief then looked up at Cullen and instantly felt her face begin to flush. Did people really think they walked around kissing each other all day? More importantly why would they even think that? Yes they were together all the time but that was because he was her personal guard so it was only reasonable that they were together all the time.

She hated tower rumors they were never true and always made the people in the rumors feel bad. Even if this rumor really didn't make her feel bad as much as it made her feel embarrassed.

"Well I have to go and get Dylan's file put together." He gave a gentle squeeze to her shoulder. "And you young lady didn't do your homework today."

"But." She looked up at him.

"No buts." He nodded curtly. "Cullen." He nodded at said Templar and gave a small shove of her shoulder towards him. "Now shall we Irving." He arched a silver brow at the First Enchanter. "We need to discuss which room the boy is going to be moved to and it had better be as far away from the girl's quarters as possible."

"Greagoir this tower is a circle there is no such thing as far away." Irving nodded as he walked past him.

"Then perhaps he should be placed in the basement." He followed after him.

Zaniah shook her head as she watched the two go then looked over at Cullen who was standing next to her.

"Kissing in their dreams." Carroll sing songed as he walked past her to follow after Greagoir.

"Shut up!" She growled at his retreating form.

"What was that about?" Cullen questioned drawing her attention back to him once Carroll was out of sight.

"Nothing." She huffed. "He's just trying to annoy me."

"Well I'd have to say it worked." He held his arm out to her for her to take. Once she had her fingers curled around his bicep he began leading her towards her room. "I've never heard you tell someone to shut up before."

She sighed deeply. "Out loud anyway."

"I suppose. So what were you two arguing about this time?"

"Nothing." She answered quickly a little too quickly causing him to stop walking.

"Now I know it was something." He smirked at her. "So what was it?"

She scowled and looked down at her feet. "Just tower rumors." She nodded.

"Ah which one? The one where you and I are having a hot steamy passionate love affair or the one where we can't stop kissing each other long enough to breathe?"

She looked up at him wide eyed. "Passionate love affair?"

He grinned at that. "You must not listen to gossip very much."

"Why would I? It's utter nonsense and just shows how many idle minded people live in this tower." She nodded curtly in disgust.

"I agree Knight Commander." He teased causing her to glower up at him. "Well you do sound like him a lot more than you would think."

"Well of course he did raise me after all." She pointed out. "Anyway that's not the point. The point is there's too much free time in this tower."

"Do the rumors bother you that much?" He arched a brow at her then started walking again.

"No not the rumors it's certain Templars that use the rumors to annoy me."

He laughed at that. "Templars or Templar?"

"Alright Carroll." She nodded irritably. "The kids made up some absurd nursery rhyme about us and now he's singing it."

He chuckled again. "Ah yes the one where we're or who ever they choose is kissing from the northern most part of Thedas down to the deepest part of the Deep Roads?"

She narrowed her eyes on nothing in particular. "Maybe those little heathens need more class work and less play time." She nodded curtly.

He stared down at her wide eyed. "Why are you getting so offended by some nursery rhyme the kids like to sing?"

"I'm not." She defended.

"Heathens?" He arched a brow at her. "That's a little excessive for singing a song that refers to people kissing." He stopped them at her bedroom door. "So why are you defensive over this?"

She glared up at him. "I'm not."

"The name calling and saying they're idle minded over them singing a song about us kissing is a little much." He shook his head and smiled at her.

"Maybe." She conceded. "But I just don't understand why they would say that about us. We're not doing any of the things they say we are. Not to mention what father would do to the both of us if he ever found out." She drew her brows as she stared up at him. "So why say those things?"

"Because we're together all the time it's only given people will talk." He shrugged then eyed her curiously. "Is this the first time you've been a victim of the gossiping in the tower?"

"No." She shook her head. "But this is the first time it's been anything like this."

He led her into her room. "So why does it bother you?" He grinned at her finding all of this rather cute and funny. Pulling her out of her bubble was the best thing he ever did. She was everything he didn't expect her to be and found her temper to be the most alluring thing about her.

She was right though if anything did happen and Greagoir found out… well he quite liked his head right where it was. However it was getting harder and harder everyday to ignore the pull towards her. The way she would smile up at him, or always hold on to his arm, or tell him stories of her childhood with Greagoir as a father. She made him laugh and smile and over come his shyness as he helped her overcome hers. She would cause his heart to race when she would stare up at him like he was her great protector.

He was sure she was going to be his greatest downfall much like she was Greagoir's, Dylan's, Carroll's, and of all people Bran's. Who knew the most diligent, never break the rules, I'll smite you to the Maker's side if you look sideways at me Templar was such a softie. It just went to show how dangerous Zaniah was if she was able to wrap Bran around her finger.

She stared up at him and drew her brows deeply. "I don't know."

He stared down into her silver/blue eyes which seemed to glow in the evening light streaming in through her bedroom windows. "I think I know." He grabbed her chin gently keeping her head tilted up towards him. "You want me to kiss you so the rumors are true."

"No I don't." She whispered as she stared into his warm hazels.

"Yes you do. He leaned down so they were nose to nose locking stare for stare. "Ask me." He whispered drawing a hairsbreadth closer.

"Ask?" She gripped the edges of his breast plate as he pressed in on her forcing her to bend backwards slightly.

He placed his free hand on her hip and gently pulled her a little closer causing her to bend back a little further. "Ask me to kiss you and I will."

She stared up at him gripping tightly to him and nodded. "Kiss me." She whispered.

"As you wish." He whispered back then closed the gap between them pressing his lips to hers.

Zaniah could do not but stand there, gripping tightly to his armor, and eyes open wide in pure shock.

Her first kiss though it was chaste and sweet but still it was her first kiss.

Cullen pulled back and stared into her wide eyes. "Better?"

She nodded her head but answered in the opposite. "No."

"No?" He rose a brow at her.

"I mean yes," she shook her head. "I mean do it again and do it," she drew her brows thoughtfully. "right?"

He grinned at that knowing what she wanted. "No." He pulled back up to his full height releasing his hold upon her.

"Yes." She scowled.

He crossed his arms over his chest and stared superiorly at her. "No."

She furrowed her brows deeply. "Why?"

"Because you want me to." He nodded curtly then became serious. "Secondly until I make my intentions to court you clear it's inappropriate."

"What?" She stared wide eyed up at him.

"Court you." He nodded determinedly.

"Court me?" She scowled. "Why is everything with you soo," she drew her brows deeply. "by the law?"

"You mean book," he pointed out. "by the book."

She waved a dismissive hand though the air. "Either way why are you like that?"

He just shrugged at her. "It's just the way the Chantry raised me I suppose."

"Alright I suppose that's excusable." She nodded. "So then what is this nonsense with everything being inappropriate all the time?" She scowled. "I hardly think kissing me is as inappropriate as seeing me naked."

He flushed at that as the memory of her naked body passed his mind's eye. "I didn't want to see you naked," he blushed and waved his hands about in front of him. "I mean I uh did I mean…"

"Still do?" She cut him off with a leer. "I can accommodate you if you wish." She pulled the ties to her cloak.

"No!" His eyes widened as he grabbed her hands.

"Why are you so prudish?" She scowled.

He scowled right back as he released his hold upon her. "Why are you so insistent to be naked in front of me?"

"Because it unhinges you and you need to be unhinged almost as badly as father." She nodded curtly.

"I'm not that uptight." He nodded insistently then suddenly slumped in the shoulders. "Look the thing is..."

"You don't want to be around me any more." She cut him off finishing what he was going to say.

"Of course not." He growled. "Let me finish."

"Alright." She crossed her arms over her chest. "Finish."

He sighed deeply. "As I was saying the thing is, is I well… I," he sighed again. "like you a lot and…" He trailed off and shifted nervously. "I uh well I wish to um," he looked everywhere but at her. "court you proper." He nodded. "I must speak with Greagoir on this issue first."

"You want to ask permission from father to court me?" She stared wide eyed at him.

"Yes but only if you wish me to court you." He stared at her hopefully.

She smiled up at him. "I would like that." She grabbed his gauntleted hand. "I would like that a lot."

"Good." He smiled at her.

"So go talk to him now." She nodded determinedly.

"What? Now?" His eyes widened.

"Yes now." She nodded again. "Ask him while he's distracted."

"But…" He trailed off and shifted nervously.

She scowled at him. "So you don't want to court me then."

"Of course I do." He defended. "I just… I mean I'm…"

"Just go." She grabbed him by the arm and pulled him to the door. "He'll be too busy dealing with getting Dylan sorted out to be too overbearing about it. Now is the perfect time to catch him unawares."

"Are you certain about this?"

She stared up at him. "Well unless you want one hundred percent of his focus on you and to get some kind of this is my child and you better do her right speech."

"I suppose." He reluctantly agreed.

"Good, now go." She ordered and pushed him out into the hallway. "I'll be waiting here." She smiled up at him.

He stared at her for a long contemplative moment before he gave her a nod and walked off. "I'm a dead man." He muttered to himself then stopped at his bedroom door having an idea that just might make his intentions a little clearer for the Knight Commander.

xx

"Why are you out of uniform and why aren't you at your post making sure Zaniah is doing her works as she was told?"

Cullen shifted nervously under the elder man's hard stare. "Sir I need to speak with you about Zaniah." He nodded.

Steel eyes narrowed. "Are you requesting a new assignment?"

"No sir." He shook his head and suddenly felt a little nauseous. "I uh… well that is to say sir," he shifted again as a sheen of sweat broke out on his brow. "that is…" He trailed off wondering why in Maker's name this was so damn hard.

Greagoir eyed the boy over and fought down the smile that was threatening to break out on his lip. "I see." He schooled his features into a deadly scowl deciding to have a little fun with the boy before he withered and died on the spot. "You either wed her on the morrow or I have you strung up."

"Sir?!" Cullen gasped and paled at the threat in the man's voice as well as from his command.

"Do not play coy with me boy." He crossed his arms over his chest and glared at him. "I know you have had to put it lightly relations with my daughter and I can only assume you're in here because she's with child."

"Oh Maker." He gasped as the room suddenly started to close in on him. "I never." He barely squeaked out.

"I know son." Greagoir smirked to save him seeing as how he looked like he was about to pass out at any moment. "Just keeping you on your toes."

Cullen felt what seemed like the weight of the world fall off his shoulders. "Thank you sir." He sighed in relief then squared his shoulders, stared the man dead in the eye, and said what he was here to say before he completely lost his nerve. Well he didn't have it in the first place but after that joke it helped the situation a little. "I have come to speak with you about courting Zaniah."

"You wish to court her?" He arched a brow at him.

"Yes sir." He nodded curtly. "Until which time as you see fit as to allow me to wed her." He stiffened his spine tensing every muscle in his back until they hurt and continued. "I do not ask you this as a Templar under your command I ask you this as man. You are her father and as such I request your permission to court her proper."

"Is she aware of your intentions?"

"Yes sir." He nodded. "She was insistent that I speak with you post haste."

"Is that so?" He smirked. "I suspected you two were a perfect fit for one another when I first met you."

"Sir?" He stared at him still unsure as to which way all of this would go. Greagoir had to be the most unreadable man he had ever met.

He waved a dismissive hand through the air. "Alright I will allow this however," he eyed him seriously. "there will be some rules to this courting."

He stiffened in the spine further causing his already stiffened muscles to protest against the strain. "Yes sir."

Greagoir nodded approvingly at his stance. "There will be no inappropriate behavior out of either of you. Kissing; fine. Holding hands; fine. You engage in any illicit behavior and we will have a **serious** problem." He narrowed his eyes deeply upon him. "Now once I feel your intentions with my child are true and honorable we shall discuss whether you shall be allowed to marry her." He pressed his lips together tightly. "Plus there will be some issues namely the Chantry that will have to be dealt with in order for you two to wed."

Cullen stared eye for eye with the commander and nodded curtly. "I will do whatever it takes."

"Good." He nodded. "Now that being the case go and make certain she does her work."

"Yes sir." He released some of the tension out of his back and nearly sighed in relief. "I hope to do right by her as well as you."

Greagoir smiled at that. "I'm sure you will." He nodded. "Dismissed."

"Sir." He bowed with fist to chest then nearly ran out of his office.

xx

"Well?" Zaniah stared at him wide eyed and shifting nervously from foot to foot.

Cullen frowned and did his level best to look like the entire world was about to end. "I'm sorry."

"WHAT?" She gasped. "He said no?" Her face suddenly matched his own looking for all the world like she was walking to her death. "Why," she whispered. "why would he say no?"

He drew his brows deeply. "What are you talking about?"

Her face suddenly screwed in to one of complete confusion. "What are you talking about?"

"This ring." He held the silver ring out for her to see. "I wasn't talking about Greagoir. He said yes." He shrugged dismissively.

"Then why make that face and what are you sorry about?! I don't get it!" She huffed in frustration.

He smiled at her. "This is the only ring I have." He held it directly in front of her face. "It was my father's and it's much too big for you. So until I can have it sized down…" He trailed off when she snatched from his hand.

"You will not." She hissed and curled her hand into a tight fist around the ring.

"How are you going to wear it and besides until I officially ask you to marry me you can't have it." He nodded.

She narrowed her eyes upon him. "You have made your intentions perfectly clear." She nodded curtly. "We are officially betrothed."

"No," he nodded again. "I am courting you and have asked Greagoir for permission to do so."

"So why then show me the ring?" She demanded.

"To show you what you're aiming towards." He smirked.

She put his ring on her thumb. "Oh so you want to play it that way then." She smirked and removed her cloak.

"Do not." He narrowed his eyes.

She matched the glare he was giving her before going over to her lock box on her desk. Opening it she pulled out a necklace with a small gold ring on it and put it around her neck. Once it was on she quickly unfastened the clasps of her robe, let it fall off her shoulders, and turned to face him. "This," she fingered the ring hanging around her neck then waved her hand down her body. "is what you're aiming towards."

He covered his eyes and turned his back towards her. "Dear Maker put some clothes on!" He ordered in a harsh whispered. "If Greagoir sees you like that with me in here…" He trailed off not wanting to think about what the Knight Commander would do if he saw them like this.

She stared at his back for a long moment before slipping her robe back on and walking up behind him. "What about this?" She whispered, wrapped her arms around him, grabbed his hands, and laced their fingers together.

"OH MAKER!" He gasped and covered his eyes. "How can you be naked here too?!"

"It's my dream land." She smirked at him. "I can be anything I want."

"Be dressed!" He growled. "What is wrong with you? Do you have no decency?"

"It's just a body; what's the big deal?" She huffed and imagined herself with the white dress on. "There better?"

He peeked between the gaps of his fingers and sighed in relief to see her clothed. "The big deal is I shouldn't see that until we are wed and have our first night together."

"Well I suppose I should expect that." She sighed. "Alright no more nakedness on my part until you're truly ready."

"Thank you." He nodded.

"On one condition." She crossed her arms over her chest.

"What?" He eyed her suspiciously.

"You will tell me about this dress."

"Well," he shifted. "when I was little some of the other kids were picking on me so I ran and hid in the Chantry. I hid for so long I fell asleep and when I woke up there was a wedding being held." He smiled at her. "The woman was wearing a dress similar to that one and I imagined that my mother whoever she was wore that dress when she married my father. I used to imagine what my parents were like all the time when I was little. My mother would be in the kitchen cooking my father's and my favorite dinner while my father and I would be out working on the farm." He shrugged. "All the same dreams any orphan would have of a real life with a real family that loved you. What about you? Did you ever dream of your real parents or what your life would have been like if you weren't orphaned?"

She dropped her arms to her sides then sat down on the grass and patted the spot next to her for him to sit. Once he was settled next to her she leaned her head against his shoulder and stared up at the tower. "Actually I did for a while when I was little but it was hard because I never really understood what it was to have a mother and a father." She sighed deeply. "Sure mother and father Hawke took me in but because he was a mage and she his wife everything was always a secret to keep them from being found out. They stayed hidden as much as possible and now looking back I realize they lived no real life at all. The threat of the Templars finding them was a constant threat that even venturing outside was a risk."

"So goes the way of an apostate." He nodded and placed his hand on her leg. "Life in hiding is no life at all."

"I agree." She nodded as she wrapped her arm around his curling her fingers into the crook of his elbow. "Well once I was given to the Templars or orphaned the second time I gave up on dreaming of having a real family or even what my real family was like. I never had one in the first place so I didn't know what I was missing. Though now when I sometimes wonder what my real parents were like I like to think that my father was a lot like Greagoir." She smiled.

"What about your mother?" He looked over at her.

She shook her head at that. "I honestly don't know. I've never had a mother beyond mother Hawke so I can't say. I mean Leandra was a nice enough woman and she did take care of me but she had three other kids to take care of. She did the best she could but with three year old twins, a five year old daughter, and an apostate husband there was little room left for me. So beyond her I guess the closest to a mother I've ever had would be," she shrugged. "Bran."

"Bran?" He looked over at her with brows nearly reaching his hairline. "You can't be serious."

"Actually I am." She nodded. "He's always lecturing me about not doing this or that, always wear shoes so I don't get sick, eat this, stop eating junk." She waved her hand through the air. "He even gave me the sex talk and the where babies come from talk."

"I would have loved to be there for that." He smirked.

"Well you could have had it." She shook her head. "It was the most awkward two hours of my life."

"Two hours?!" He gasped wide eyed.

She sighed deeply. "One hour to explain every detail about sex and why I should never ever have sex even if the Maker walks up to me and tells me it's okay. Then one hour to reiterate that I should never ever have sex and the miserable pain women suffer when they have babies."

"Wow." He gasped stunned. "Just… wow."

"Well someone had to give me all the growing up talks and he decided to be the one to do it. I'm sure once he finds out about your courting me he'll have an awkward talk with you as well."

"I'll pass." He cringed not even wanting to imagine what it would be like to have a heart to heart with Bran.

"It won't be an option." She grinned up at him. "He'll probably give you the sex talk as well and why you should never ever have it."

He shook his head. "No, absolutely not."

"That's easy to say until he's standing before you hovering like the big Templar nightmare he can be telling you we need to have a talk."

"You do know I'm taller than him." He pointed out.

"It doesn't matter." She wrinkled her nose. "He just has this _'I'm a big scary Templar'_ aura about him. What he'll do is hover over you when you're in a position of weakness like sitting down or sleeping," she nodded. "definitely sleeping."

He did not like the sound of that at all especially since he roomed with said Templar. "He'll be sorry the first time he tries it."

"Riiight." She smirked. "But anyway my family now is the family I love even if they are heavy on the Templar side and I wouldn't want it any other way."

"So why did you lean more towards the Templars and not the mages?" He drew his brows. "It seems like mages would be more along the lines of kindred spirits than the Templars."

She shrugged at that. "They rejected me because I wasn't like them. I can't perform magic like they do so I'm different." She drawled out the word sarcastically. "That isn't to say some of the mages didn't try to welcome me into the fold but," she sighed. "but it wasn't enough to keep the rest from rejecting me. That isn't to say I don't get along with them or anything it's just I keep my socializing down to mostly Dylan, occasionally with Irving, and a few words here and there with the rest. I think they fear me and that if they look at me wrong I'll sic father on them." She shrugged again. "So I just basically stick with my Templars and that's enough for me."

"I guess I could see where the mages would fear you." He nodded. "They in general don't like the Templars anyway."

"True," she agreed. "I mean I can see their side. I can see where being locked away here after being ripped from your family or given away could cause issues. Especially never being able to leave or really experience the world outside beyond the gardens." She shook her head. "It's really no life for anyone but…" She trailed off and wrinkled her nose. "You know what lets not talk about that anymore. It's just going to make me angry when the Chantry and the supposed Maker comes into why they're locked away here."

"Why does it make you so mad to talk about the Maker?" He looked down at her with brows drawn deeply. "And the Chantry and Andraste?"

She sighed deeply to keep the irritation level on the subject as low as possible. "Like I said the **story**," she emphasized. "of Andraste and the Maker is a story created by the old Gods to test the loyalty of man. The Chantry was created to spread the story and make is seem as true as possible. They slaughtered an entire nation in the name of a woman that did not exist so man would believe." She looked up at him. "After so many centuries of spreading their myth man believes without a doubt that what they say is truth. No one ever questions if what they say is truth or lies and no one every disputes the laws they make in the name of Andraste or the Maker or both. Tell me Cullen," she arched a brow at him. "what makes you so certain the story is true? Why do you believe what the Chantry says to be truth?"

"I…" He started and trailed off as he really thought about it. "Well I was raised by the Chantry so…"

"So they fed you their story for the bulk of your life and therefore it's truth." She cut him off finishing his sentence for him. "And that's okay but what's not okay is to so blindly follow without having doubts as to where the whole thing started. Anyone can say something is truth and manipulate things around them to fall in line with their words. And although it's a lie if you tell it long enough and enough people believe it…" She trailed off and stared up at him expectantly.

"It soon becomes truth that's a lie but a truth to those that believe." He finished for her.

"Exactly." She smiled with a nod. "So you see no matter what it is you believe you always have to have doubts. That way if there is a real truth to be revealed and one day it becomes known then you're not so surprised by it."

"Sound advice." He nodded and smiled back at her. "So you don't think mages should be locked away then?"

"No but I'm not saying they shouldn't be monitored either." She looked up at the tower. "The Chantry has it's soldiers everywhere why can't they watch them? I mean what are the Templars out there in villages doing besides keeping an eye out for apostates, new mages, and keeping the sisters of the Chantry safe?" She shook her head. "They even have two Templars stationed as you know at the inn across the lake. I'm sure life with the mages would be a lot easier if they were allowed their freedom, less animosity."

"I suppose, but without constant supervision at any moment the could become an abomination or worse," he stared down at her. "a blood mage."

She snorted at that. "And do tell how often are stories of such a thing happing heard? I will bet my soul that there are a lot more mages out there running free than anyone really knows. Yet the abomination and blood mage threat is rarely heard of." She shrugged. "Then again I'm imprisoned in this tower never allowed to leave like the rest so maybe I'm wrong about what's really going on in the rest of the world. Though I would think you'd hear about it more than you do if it was true I mean how else would the Chantry spread its propaganda without such tales?"

He had to agree being he rarely ever heard tales of mages running amuck and bringing the world to the brink of ruin. Actually the only tale he ever heard that ran along those lines was the story of Andraste striking down the Tevinter Imperium. Sure occasionally he'd hear about a blood mage her or there but never anything about abominations terrorizing villages or anything. "Maybe the fear of being locked away or executed on the spot keeps them in line."

"Or maybe they just want to live a quiet normal life." She countered. "But either way its not likely to change anytime soon. Well unless the mages of the world ever decide to rise up against their oppressors."

He did not want to think about what that would be like. "So that ring," he changed the subject being his inner Templar was getting agitated with this conversation and demanding he counter argues every point she made. "where did you get it?"

"Alright alright," she smiled up at him. "no more talk of mages." She gave his arm a gentle squeeze. "This ring," she pulled it from the confines of her robe with her free hand. "was given to me by father Hawke not long after he found me. He gave one to each of his kids and me." She gave it a hard yank causing the chain to break and pulled it from the ring. "Here," she grabbed his hand and slipped it on his pinky finger. "I have yours and now you have mine."

He stared at the little gold ring that barely fit past the first knuckle of his finger. "It's a little small."

She held her thumb up for him to see. "And it's a little big so it's perfect."

"So you don't want a ring that fits properly?"

She shook her head and fingered the one on her thumb. "No, this ring is yours and should remain as you've always had it. That way it will always remind me of you and not just a ring you gave me." She drew her brows deeply. "Does that make sense?"

"No," he snorted. "but if it's what you want who am I to argue?"

"It is." She smiled at him.

"Alright now you have to do something I want."

"What?" She moved to kneel in front of him.

"Your work." He nodded curtly. "Your father agreed to my courting so long as you get your work done."

She wrinkled her nose at that. "When will he ever quit giving me work to do? I should start giving him work everyday."

"Have you seen his desk?" He arched a brow at her. "I believe he has enough work without you adding in more."

"I guess." She sighed deeply. "Well we better get back so I can get my work done and so we both won't get lectured about following orders."

"Agreed." He nodded.

"On one condition." She smirked at him.

He did not like that or the face she was making. "What?" He narrowed his eyes upon her.

"This." She pulled away breaking the connection bringing them back to her bedroom, moved to stand in front of him, grabbed him by the face, and pulled him down until their lips met. "And do it right." She whispered against his lips.

"I believe I can do that." He whispered back and wrapped his arms around her waist lifting her up as he pressed the kiss deeper.

Zaniah tangled her fingers into his hair trying to match what he was doing to her. She had never kissed anyone before and had no clue as to what it was she was doing. Yet that didn't mean she couldn't learn by experience and based on the way kissing him made her feel… well she was going to like learning how to kiss a lot.


End file.
